Paper Mario: A Goomba's Tale
by Looneygamemaster
Summary: Ever since his adventure with Mario, Goombario has longed to become a hero in his own right. Little does he know that that wish is about to come true, and take him on an astounding adventure of his own...
1. Once Upon a Time

Disclaimer: I don't own Mario, the Paper Mario games, or any of the characters from them. They belong to Nintendo and Intelligent Systems. I do, however, own all the original characters in this story.

There might be some who remember my "Pokemon Quest" story. I wanted to create an "epic quest" kind of story, but I deleted it, because while I liked the concept, it was starting to become cliché. This story, however, I have had relatively unchanged in my mind for a while. It will be similar in structure to the Paper Mario games, but with a _different _main character.

I hope you all read this story and enjoy it!

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Paper Mario: A Goomba's Tale

Once Upon a Time

_Well now, gather 'round! Today, I'm going to tell you about the ancient Kingdom of the Goombas!_

_It is said that long ago, there lived a Kingdom composed of Goombas—yes Goombas, the lowly stepping-stones of today. It was known as Goomiam, and it was a civilization of untold wonders. The Goombas who lived there had used a strange kind of magic to create technology beyond imagination. It was said that they could heal the sick, (even those near death), sail the stars, and even halt time itself. Indeed, so advanced was their civilization—nay, utopia—that they had put an end to war, to suffering, and even to classes of rich and poor. Yes, Goomiam was a wondrous place…_

_And yet, their time on our world came to an end. Their civilization had created jealosy and unrest among other kingdoms, fearing that the Goombas of Goomiam would try to seize their thrones. Others were greedy for the treasures, both riches and technology, that that great kingdom held. Perhaps fearing that its continued presence would cause war, one day, the great kingdom…disappeared._

_No one knows what happened to that great utopia, and time has reduced its wondrous tales to myth. But this is where our story begins…in the great kingdom of Goomiam._

_----------_

Somewhere, in a place beyond reckoning, beyond imagination, in a place thought only to be a myth, two armored figures sat in a large room, sitting in front of a large glass case.

Sitting…

Sitting…

Sitting…

"ARGH!" one shouted as he jumped up in aggravation. "I can't take it anymore! I'm SOOOO BORED!!!"

The other snorted. "You think I'm enjoying this? Not like we have a choice you know—it's orders directly from His Majesty himself."

"Tonight's crème de la Goomba," whined his companion, not seeming to hear him. "I should be at home, eating the best cooking Ma has to offer after a hard day of work. Instead I'm stuck guarding a stupid rock!" He glared at the case behind him. "What's so special about this dumb rock anyway?"

"Didn't you pay ANY attention to Lords Goominton and Goopone, Gooaurel?" the other one snapped. "This 'dumb rock' is supposed to locate the treasure that the King's so obsessed with. They finally found it yesterday, after years of excavation in the mines. It must be on hand, and kept safe from rebels."

"Oh yeah—the 'Seven Star Gems of Goomia,'" said Gooaurel, with a snort. "Honestly—no one even believes that stupid story anymore. Why's the King even care—eh? Who are you?!" He pointed his spear towards a small figure that had somehow evaded both of their attention (not really an impressive feat).

"Er…hello my good guards!" squeaked the small Goomba. He had upon him an orange baseball cap that was turned backwards, a rich green robe that spoke clearly of his importance, and wielded an immensely long and thin black mustache that swept the ground as he spoke. "I am Sir Goomfrey…I believe Goominton and Goopone told you of me, eh what?"

The other guard jumped. "Sir Goomfrey!! A thousand apologies m'lord—put that spear away you idiot!" This second statement was directed towards his partner, whom he bonked with his head for emphasis. "This is the one Goomba we're supposed to give the stone to! He's the noble who'll take it to the King!"

The Goomba blinked, and looked at the noble doubtfully. "I don't know Gooardy—he's kinda runty. Plus, he sounds like a ki—URK!" He was unable to finish his sentence as the other guard had kicked him in the stomach.

"Please forgive my rude companion m'lord," he said to Sir Goomfrey, bowing many times. He then walked over to the glass container, unlocked it with the key around his belt, and handed over its contents to his superior. "Please, take this with my apologies, and please, no need to mention such a thing to the King, is there?"

"No, no of course not, old bean," blustered Sir Goomfrey, the ghost of a smirk playing across his face. "Now, if you'll excuse me—important noble type business and all that." He walked away, as the guard turned to glare at his partner, still wheezing from pain.

"Moron!" he shouted. "He'll probably have us BOTH beheaded for our insolence!"

"B-but," the injured Goomba gasped in protest, "how do ya know that was Sir Whatsist? He m-might have been a fake."

"Nonsense!" Gooardy puffed his chest out in pride. "One thing I pride myself on is my judge of character—now what?" Now another Goomba, this one completely naked, had suddenly rushed in, and the guard thrust his spear at him in warning. "Who are you, buddy, and what's your business here?"

"Remove that weapon you fool!" shouted the Goomba angrily in a deep voice. "I am Sir Goomfrey and I require the Compass Gem at once! AT ONCE, YOU HEAR?!"

The guard laughed. "Yeah right, pal. For your information, Sir Goomfrey's already been here, and he's taking the Gem to the King as we speak. I'd know that fake mustache anywhere."

"YOU USELESS EXCUSE FOR LACKEYS!!!" bellowed the Goomba in a voice that made them both jump. "That was an IMPOSTER you NITWITS!!! I was attacked by a young street urchin and stripped of my clothes!! He even took my mustache—WHICH IS NOT FAKE!!!"

The guards stared at each other, and went pale. "I-I-a-a thousand pardons, m'lord," Gooardy blubbered. "I, I deeply regret any rash—

"THERE'S NO TIME FOR THAT!!" shouted the enraged noble, his face actually turning a brighter shade of brown from anger. "By now, the brat's probably taken my ship!! Fortunately, I have a spare, so let's get after him! If we lose that Gem, the King will have ALL of our heads!!!"

He dashed off, and as the two guards followed in hot pursuit, Gooaurel smirked at his companion.

"Told ya so."

"Shut up."

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Hope you enjoyed! There's plenty more where this came from. Don't forget to review!

By the way, the two guards' names are taken from the famous comedy pair, Laurel and Hardy.


	2. Prologue Part 1

Disclaimer: Mario, the Paper Mario games, and all characters from them belong to Nintendo and Intelligent Systems, not me.

Sorry it took so long to update this fic—I've had a busy schedule. This is where the story starts taking off, so I hope you all read it.

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Prologue

The Legendary Goomba Hero

Deep in the heart of the castle, a structure that festered with evil unfathomable, with traps that would end all but the most skilled adventurers, with monsters that would devour anyone but the strongest fighters…

Deep in this castle, the beast laughed evilly.

His nemesis, the accursed red-clothed plumber, lay powerless before him, finally defeated. Now, now the fair Princess he held captive would be all his.

Nothing could stop him now!

NOTHING!!

"BOWSER!!"

The beast paled. No! It couldn't be!

It was.

A Goomba stood before him, a Goomba small, but exuding strength and courage beyond a hero ten times his size. A Goomba who had seen his comrade fall, and would avenge his defeat.

"Your reign of terror is over Bowser! Now you face the mighty GOOMBARIO!!"

The beast attempted to shake off his fear. "Not even you can beat me, Goombario!" He let loose a terrible breath of flame, that was so hot it seared the stone floor it blasted across.

But the mighty Goombario was too fast for that! Jumping as though he could reach the heavens, the Goomba leaped towards his foe and SLAMMED into him!

Headfirst.

Unable to withstand such a deadly attack, the mighty beast collapsed to the floor, the force of the deadly Headbonk overpowering even his strength.

The Goomba hero stood victorious, and, dragging his wounded comrade, arrived at the room where the fair Princess Peach stood awaiting rescue.

And the Princess smiled.

"Goombario…"

"Goombario…"

"GOOMBARIO!!!"

"Wh-what?" The Goomba had been standing upwards in preparation for a kiss, and the loud volume of the voice sent him sprawling towards the floor.

Not the floor of Bowser's castle…but the dirt floor of the woods behind his house.

Where a smaller, pinkish looking Goomba with a bow stood looking over him, and the giant wood figure that vaguely resembled a giant Koopa, in amusement.

"Pretending to be a hero again, huh Big Brother?"

The young Goomba glowered at his younger sister. "I don't need to pretend Goombaria. I AM a hero. Or did you forget my role in the adventure of the Star Rod?"

Goombaria chuckled. "Oh, I remember—I remember the others' talking about you. About your heroic complaining as you journeyed through deserts and brave whimperings through frightening woods."

Goombario scowled and looked down in embarrassment. He never thought he'd miss the bratty little sister he used to have, but he disliked the sarcastic adolescent that now stood before him even more.

"Anyway, just thought I'd remind you that Mom wanted you to help with dinner, and not slack off like you always do." She smiled ever so sweetly. "Or would you rather have Mario know about your "adventures?"'

Muttering something to himself about the benefits of being an only child, Goombario followed his sister towards Goomba Village.

A quiet house that was now in an uproar over a famous dinner guest.

-----

"Goombario! There you are!" The middle aged Goomba woman frowned at her son walking sullenly behind his sister. "Didn't I tell you? Everyone needs to help with dinner! We want this to be the best meal it can possibly be!"

"Like Mario'd ever complain if it wasn't…" replied Goombario, which was quickly followed by an "OW!" as his mother tugged at his…ear-space.

"I'll have none of your smart remarks tonight, young man! Honestly, you've been so difficult today—I'd have thought you'd be glad to see Mario again!"

Goombario sighed. Of course he was glad—he hadn't seen his hero for about eight years. Much had changed since then—he'd grown as much as Goombas were expected to grow (admittedly not much) and had even started showing traces of his Dad's mustache (which, when noticed, had subsequently caused Goompapa to burst into tears, declare his son a man, and pass cigars out to some Toads who had been sightseeing). But he'd still kept track of all of Mario's adventures, each one wowing him more then the last. He wouldn't be Mario's #1 fan if he'd done otherwise.

Yep. Mario's #1 fan. That was all…

"GOOMBARIO! Are you listening to me?!" The Goomba jumped at his mother's voice. "We still need Goomnuts for my Nutty Brownies! Goompapa's cooking the Koopasta, Gooma is fixing the Shroom Steak, and Goombaria is gathering flowers for the table! Head out to that tree and get some Goomnuts!"

"Yes Ma'am," Goombario saluted wearily. The Goomnut tree right near their house had recently died, but fortunately, the tasty treats never stopped growing on farther away trees.

"I'll help him, Goomama," a tired, wheezy voice announced. An old Goomba, hair white, and now needing a cane to stand, had come up without warning.

Goomama looked worried. "I don't know Goompa…shouldn't you be resting?"

"Nonsense. Bit of physical activity and time with my grandson'll do me good." Goompa smiled at his grandson, who smiled back and looked at his mother with pleading eyes.

Goomama sighed. "Honestly Goombario…you're a young man and you still give me that look. And I still can't resist it. Fine, but just get the Goomnuts! No playing around!"

------

It was awkwardly silent as the two Goombas headed out towards the woods behind their house. The evil Goombas that had populated the woods had long since vanished, the only troublemaker remaining being the annoying Jr. Troopa, who still retained his bullying attitude even after finally coming out of his shell and multiple beatings by Mario.

Goompa coughed. "So…coin for your thoughts?"

Goombario sighed. He loved and admired his Goomba grandpa more than anyone else in his family, but he didn't feel comfortable discussing his problems even with him.

"You don't talk nearly as much as you used to Goombario," pursued Goompa, as they arrived at the nearest Goomnut tree. "Kind of lonely without all that chatter…"

Goombario didn't meet his eyes as he bonked the tree with his head. "I don't wanna talk about it Goompa…"

The elder Goomba chuckled. "Reminds me of something my Goompa told me Goombario. 'Boy, family is another word for a bunch of meddling busybodies. No point in trying to keep to yourself, 'cause they'll bug ya till you finally spill your guts.' Wise words."

Goombario turned to look at Goompa for the first time, and gave a great heavy sigh. "It's…it's complicated." Seeing the waiting eyes, Goombario knew he had to expand on that. "It's just…well, when I traveled with Mario, I went to all kinds of awesome places…ancient ruins, haunted forests, volcanoes…and went on all kinds of cool adventures."

Goompa nodded. "That's good, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but…well, that was MARIO's adventure. Not mine. After the adventure, Mario was the hero. I, I was just a sidekick—heck, not even a very good sidekick. All I did was hit things with my head and complain—the others did way more than that. I couldn't reach items or switches, turn Mario invisible, float on spikes….I guess, well, there wasn't a lot to celebrate about me." His eyes turned outwards. "But I keep imagining about, well, ME being a hero. ME going on an epic quest, fighting some evil bad guy, rescuing a Princess, helping everyone in need. ME being talked about, celebrated, glorified…" He chuckled sadly. "But it's just a dumb dream, isn't it Goompa?"

"Goombario." The Goomba turned to face his Goompa's eyes, completely serious. "There's another thing my Goompa said. He said, 'Boy, everyone's dreams come true—but not always in the way they expect.'"

Goombario blinked, and opened his mouth to ask for clarification—

BOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!

The ground shook as though the world were spinning out of control. Both Goombas, shocked, had just enough sense to grab onto the tree, as everything started shaking. Goomnuts fell out of trees and hit the ground like hailstones.

As suddenly as it started, it stopped.

Goombario blinked, as he slowly helped Goompa up, the old Goomba's cane having been tossed aside. "What the heck was THAT?"

"Don't know," muttered Goompa. "Never felt anything like it. Like something crashed—but what could make a crash like that?"

Seeing his Goompa's cane, the Goomba handed it to him. "It sounded like it came from over to the west. Stay here, I'll go check it out."

And over Goompa's protests, Goombario dashed onwards towards the west, beyond Jr. Troopa's playground.

Onwards…towards his destiny.

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Just for clarification, I'll be using the Paper Mario style of chaptering, and divide them into parts. So this is Part One of the Prologue.

Anyway, read and review! Hopefully, I won't take as long to update.


	3. Prologue Part 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Paper Mario, Nintendo and Intelligent Systems do, own all original characters, blah blah blah…

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Prologue Part 2

Dashing through the clearing of large trees (Jr. Troopa's "playground") Goombario skittered to a halt as he came to the small cliff that lay beyond.

And his eyes widened.

"No way…"

Lying across from him, little more than a smoldering wreck, was a bizarre red craft. It held a sail, now toppled over and torn, and large holes (other than ones that appeared to have been made by some kind of blast) that seemed to be portholes.

It was, to all appearances, a sailboat—but it was made of red metal.

A…spaceship?

"Ugh…"

Goombario shook his head ridding himself of his stupor, and walking over, saw a small form lying not far from the wreck.

It was a Goomba.

A young Goomba…about 7 or 8, he'd guess. His sole article of clothing was an orange baseball cap that was right by his side, rocked off by whatever had caused his injury.

Goombario looked him over. Amazingly, the boy seemed to have no serious injuries…a few scratches, a large lump, but considering the state his ship was in, he was very lucky indeed.

"Okay kid, you look like you're gonna be okay," said Goombario. "We'll just get you over to my house…you can rest there." He'd half been talking to himself, so he was very surprised to hear a voice in reply.

"The Gem…the Gem…"

Goombario blinked. "Gem?" The Goomba turned his eyes, and, on instinct, picked up the boy's cap. Underneath was some thing…some thing that had been hastily wrapped in a brown parcel-looking substance. On curiosity, Goombario tore it off.

It was a gem, just as the boy had said. The gem was very small, no bigger than a pebble, and it was very smooth and round. It shone red, but a disturbing looking red that reminded Goombario of blood for some reason. Hesitantly, the Goomba picked the stone up. He raised his eyebrows.

"Hm…. never knew a boy that was into jewelry—whoa!" He dropped the Gem, which had suddenly changed from red to a shining rainbow of colors that sparkled and entranced the eye.

As soon as it hit the ground, it stopped, and returned to normal…no wait, now it was silver looking.

Goombario shook his head. "Well…that was weird. Hey kid, this gem went all freaky on me…kid?" The young Goomba had submitted to unconsciousness. "Well, that's great…guess I gotta carry you back to the village."

"That won't be necessary."

Goombario jumped. "Who? What?"

"Up here, boy!" There was an odd shimmering, and suddenly a large shape appeared above, slowly descending menacingly…fiercely…proudly…

_SKRRRRRTTTTTT!!!!!!_

Goombario blinked as the large ship suddenly glanced against a tree with an outreaching branch.

"IDIOT!!!!!" shouted the same voice that had addressed Goombario. "I just had this ship painted!!! Can't you fly straight?!!!"

"Sorry, so sorry m'lord…" Another slower and more nervous sounding voice came from the ship. "It's my first time you know…I'm not really assigned to ship patrol m'lord…"

"Hey look!" A third voice, more high-pitched and excited. "That must be the kid who knocked you out Sir Whatsist!"

"IT'S SIR GOOMFREY YOU MORON!!!" the first voice bellowed. "And I KNOW who that boy is!!! You fools completely ruined my grand entrance!!"

Goombario raised his eyebrows as three shapes suddenly leaped from the ship (which he noticed was the same as the boy's wrecked ship, except it was green). They were Goombas—one was a very small Goomba, smaller than Goombario, but an adult judging from his voice and very thin black mustache that swept the ground. He also wore a green robe around him, covered with fur, that Goombario supposed was supposed to make him look important, but as it seemed tailored for a much larger Goomba, only made him look like a clown. The other two were large Goombas, larger than Goombario, covered from head to toe with some strange black armor, and helmets that only revealed their faces.

"Now, as I was saying, before I was INTERRUPTED…" blustered the miniature Goomba, with a murderous look at the other two, "There's no need to take that gem back…because you'll be giving it to me!"

"Hey, we're here too, ya know," said the Goomba with the higher voice. The small Goomba glared thunderously at him.

Goombario looked at the three before him, not quite sure what to think. "Anddddd…just who are you guys?"

The small Goomba puffed out his chest…or what was supposed to be his chest. "These two are unimportant riff raff…but _I_ am Sir Goomfrey, Lord High Noble of Court 64, Duke of Goomstonshire, and Master of the Level 5 Mustache! Now, as I was saying, you will hand over that gem…and that boy. He is a wanted criminal who will be sentenced to death for theft of a national treasure, and assault of a superior Goomba!" He suddenly stopped, and noticed that Goombario was holding back a snicker. "And WHAT do you find so FUNNY, boy?!!"

Goombario tried to straighten his face. "I'm sorry—I know you're an evil villain and I'm supposed to be intimidated—but I CAN'T take you seriously with that ridiculous fake mustache. Could you, maybe, take it off? That might work better."

"F-F-FAKE MUSTACHE?!!!" shouted Goomfrey, his face turning red (and oblivious to the snickering of the two Goombas behind him). "THIS IS GENUINE FACIAL HAIR!!! IT IS PROOF OF MY MANLINESS!!!!"

"More like proof of ultimate cheesiness," chuckled Goombario.

"M'lord…would you like Gooaruel and I to silence this boy?" inquired the Goomba with the lower voice.

"No Gooardy! This boy has insulted my mustache!! For that…HE SHALL PAY!!!" Bellowing like a bull, the tiny Goomba charged at Goombario, who narrowly braced himself against the noble's Headbonk. Recalling the Action Command training he'd taken with Mario years ago (it seemed like yesterday) Goombario responded with a double Headbonk of his own, which made Goomfrey wince with pain.

"You little…" With no thought of tact or planning, the angry Goomba charged again, only to be tripped by an outstretched toe, and sent reeling into a nearby tree. Goombario shook his head.

"Look, buddy, this is just embarrassing. If you just walk away, we'll forget the whole thing ever happened."

"Ugh…" Getting to his feet, Goomfrey glared at Goombario, and dashed over to the other two Goombas. "Don't just stand there, fools!! Activate full weapons mode!!" The two snapped to attention and jumped into the ship. Goombario heard the press of a button and suddenly, compartments opened up all over the ship, revealing an almost cartoonish-looking arsenal of missiles, laser cannons, machine guns and…pea-shooters? Goomfrey laughed insanely.

"Not so confident now, are you BOY?!!!! Hand over the Gem and the boy, and grovel for forgiveness for insulting me, and I MIGHT let you live to see tomorrow!!!"

"Um…m'lord, forgive me for saying this, but…aren't you going a bit too far? I mean, they are kids…"

"SILENCE!! He has made a mockery of me and now he must PAY!!!"

_Well…dang._ That was the only response Goombario could fathom. _Okay, what do I do now? He's got a whole bunch of weapons, and I've got…_ Goombario's eyes darted towards the ground and spied the parcel that had covered the gem. _Hmm…it's desperate, but this guy doesn't seem very smart._ He bent down, grateful that the three Goomba Stooges looked to be engaged in an argument (or rather, Goomfrey was focusing all his attention on yelling at the two).

"—and THAT is why I am completely and utterly superior to both of you—huh? What are you doing boy?!"

"Nothing." Goombario turned to face his foes, a calm smile on his face, and holding a small package. "So…you guys want this, huh?"

"That's right." Goomfrey chuckled sinisterly. "Smart boy. Just hand it—"

"THEN GO AND GET IT!" With all his might, the Goomba tossed the package far, far away in the opposite direction. Goomfrey's sinister expression turned to horror.

"NOOOOO!!! AFTER IT YOU FOOLS!!! AFTER IT!!!" Completely forgetting their ship, the three dashed directly past the two Goombas, in five seconds.

And to their credit, it only took two seconds for them to realize they'd run out of ground.

"CRRRRUUUDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!" Three voices cried out in unison as they plummeted downwards. Goombario chuckled.

"Now for the big bad ship." Climbing onboard, with the Gem and the boy in tow, Goombario looked around. Up front, where the steering wheel was, was a panel full of buttons. The Goomba looked at the buttons. "Let's see…gotta destroy this thing so those morons don't blow anything up…" Goombario stopped at a button that read _PRESS THIS TO BLOW ME UP. _"….Okay. Good enough for me." Pressing the button, Goombario quickly dropped down, grabbed the gem and hoisted the unconscious boy on his back, and dashed off in the direction of Goomba Village. As he exited Jr. Troopa's playground, he could hear the roar of an explosion, and he sighed.

"Wonder how I'm gonna explain THIS to Mom and Dad…"

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That's all for now! Please read and review!


	4. Prologue Part 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Paper Mario, and am not likely to buy it from Nintendo and Intelligent Systems. I do own all the original characters contained herein.

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Prologue Part 3

"GOOMARIO!!"

Goombario was unprepared for the crushing assault on his windpipe caused by an anxious mother, as he and Goompa arrived back in Goomba Village.

"Mom—urk—leggo! Honestly, what do you think I am, a plushie?"

"I felt that crash—and it came over from where you were—and then that awful explosion—oh, I was afraid something awful had happened to you! Oh my Goombario…"

"Now, now, that's enough," chuckled Goompa. "Besides, if you don't let go of the boy, you're liable to crush our guest."

"Guest?" Goomama finally let go of her son (who fell over, gasping for air) and saw, for the first time, the Goomba boy he had been carrying. "Why, who's this?"

"Who's what?" There was shuffling of feet as three more Goombas walked over. And accompanying them…

Goombario looked up and his eyes widened. "Mario? You're…you're already here?"

Mario nodded, silent as always. Time had done little to change him—he was perhaps, a little more plump (a feat which had always astonished Goombario considering all the traveling he did), the same red suit and cap, the same bristling mustache and the same strong, gentle face. He looked at the unconscious boy, and raised his eyebrows in question.

"I don't know who he is," replied Goombario. "I found him among a wrecked ship—only other thing I found was this thing." He held up the Gem, which, with his touch, had again began glowing brilliantly with all sorts of colors. "Some goons wanted both this and the kid, but I drove 'em off."

"You were in a fight?!" began Goomama, but Goompapa intervened.

"Well, anyways, we'd better get this little one inside and let him rest. Mario, if you could help me?" Mario nodded, and the two men (figuratively) gently hoisted the boy from Goombario's back. "Goombaria, Gooma, get some cold water. Goombario, get the blanket." Goombario nodded—he was always secretly thrilled when his Goompapa took charge. It made him look cool.

-------

Half an hour later, six pairs of Goomba eyes, and one pair of human eyes were focused on the sleeping Goomba, who lay on the couch blanket strewn across him with a wet towel on his head. The mysterious gem lay on the table, temporarily forgotten.

"He looks so young," murmured Gooma softly. "How'd such a little boy get in such a state?"

"He'd be a lot worse off if that lunatic with the fake mustache had gotten him," remarked Goombario. "The guy was ready to blow us both to bits. Good thing he was about as bright as Jr. Troopa."

"Truly a worthy opponent for the mighty Goombario, huh?" remarked Goombaria sweetly.

"Now that's enough Goombaria," said Goompa sternly. "Your brother saved this little boy's life. I'd say that doesn't deserve mocking." Mario nodded and smiled approvingly at Goombario, who suddenly felt as though he'd vanquished Bowser single-handedly.

Well—so to speak.

"I still say it was too dangerous," fretted Goomama. "I mean, I'm glad you saved this boy and all, but you could have—" She was interrupted by a low moaning, and all eyes turned on their guest, whose eyes where flickering open.

"Ughhhhh….mmmmm…huh?" Looking up, the boy saw the people standing over him and his eyes regained focus. "Huh-what? Who-who are you all? Have I been captured? Well I'm not gonna talk!" Now he was becoming excited. "You can torture me all you want, but—wait. What kind of prison is this?"

"Some call it 'Domestic Prison,'" joked Goompapa, which earned a withering glare from Goomama. "Not that…I'd ever call it that…"

"Are you alright kid?" asked Goombario. "How'd you end up like that anyway?" The boy looked at him confusedly.

"Like what?"

"Like hurt, that's what! Your ship was a wreck too!" Suddenly, understanding appeared in the Goomba's eyes.

"Oh yeah! I tricked those dumb guards into giving me the Gem and stole ol' Goomfrey's ship. I…guess he must have had a spare." Suddenly, he started. "The Gem! Where's the Gem?!!"

"Relax young' in," replied Goompa. "Your Gem's over on the table." The boy relaxed, then suddenly blinked in confusion.

"I don't get it. If I got shot down, why didn't they come after me?"

"They did," said Goombario. "They landed down where I found you and tried to take you and your Gem. But by now, they're at the bottom of a 10-foot drop—thanks to me. And their ship's a pile of rubble by now if that explosion was any indication." The boy looked up at him.

"You did all that—and saved me?" His eyes shone. "Wow—you're cool Mister!"

Goombario winced. "The name's Goombario." He nodded his heads towards the others. "This is my family—that's my Goomama, Goompapa, Gooma and Goompa. The little pink lump's name is Goombaria." This earned him a withering glare from his sister. "And THIS—is Mario, but I'm sure I don't need to tell you that." Mario nodded his head politely towards the boy.

"Well hi! I'm Goom." Everyone blinked, and the boy turned red with embarrassment. "Actually my Mom named me Goomton, but that's such a stupid name—makes me sound like some fancy-pants noble." He raised his eyebrows at Mario. "I'm sorry…but I've never heard of anyone named Mario. What a weird name…"

"You've never heard of MARIO?!" Goombario exclaimed. "He's only the greatest hero EVER. Where the heck are you from?!"

"I come from Goomiam."

THUD.

Everyone turned their eyes towards Goompa, whose cane had dropped, and whose eyes were as wide as saucers. Slowly he stuttered, "Lad—w-where did you say you were from?" Now Goom looked ashamed.

"I—I'm really not supposed to tell anyone—but I've already said it, so—I come from Goomaim."

"Impossible," muttered Goompa slowly. "It just can't be…"

"Goompa, what's wrong?" inquired Goombaria with a worried glance. Goompa looked at everyone uncertainly.

"Goomiam," he began slowly, "Goomiam…My Goompa used to tell me stories about that place—stories his Goompa told him. Goomiam—was a legendary kingdom of Goombas—no, not just a kingdom, a utopia. It was advanced beyond possibility of the times—it was said that the Goombas of Goomiam could live forever."

"Well, that's a bit of an exaggeration," replied Goom, as casually as though they had been talking about the weather. "I don't know the specifics, but long ago, our mages found a way to increase our longv—lonv—slow our aging. We still age, but it's much slower—and that goes for all of it, including emotional and mental." He puffed himself up. "I may look like a little kid, but I'm actually 85 years old!"

"No way…" Goombario stared at him in astonishment. "Are you serious?"

"Well, 84 actually. I'll be 85 this winter."

"But what happened?" demanded Goompa. "I never believed those stories…but if Goomiam did exist, what happened to it?"

Goom looked uncomfortable. "I-I'm sorry. You've all been real nice to me, but I can't tell you anything, and I need to get going. I need to find someone—someone who can use the Gem…"

"Hey, speaking of which," remarked Goombario, who grabbed the Gem, which began to glow again, "can you explain why this Gem freaks out whenever I touch it?" He blinked, as Goom's eyes widened and he stared at Goombario with a different look in his eyes.

"No way." He looked Goombario all over. "No way—it's—it's just not possible. Why—why would it be a Goomba from here?"

"Could you be a little clearer kid?" replied Goombario, a little annoyed. Goom stared at him, deadly serious.

"The Compass Gem—was created long ago to locate the Seven Star Stones of Goomiam. It was made with a magic that would only react when touched by a certain someone. Someone who is destined to save Goomiam during a time of evil…"

Goombario blinked, and he looked at the shining Gem.

"…Me? You mean me?"

"It has to be," said Goom. "It doesn't make any sense, but the Gem doesn't lie. You're the legendary hero." Everyone stared at the two.

Goombario bristled. "Now—now hold on kid! I'm not the right kind of guy for this! You want Mario—the guy makes it his business to save the world!"

"No, it's you," insisted Goom. "Only a Goomba hero can save Goomiam. And you're that hero." He suddenly broke out into a grin, full of admiration. "I don't believe it! Not only did I get the Gem, I found the hero!! It's only a matter of time before we're saved!"

"All right," Goombario growled. "Let's suppose I believe this. WHAT exactly, am I supposed to save your grand utopia from?"

"It ain't exactly a utopia anymore," replied Goom. "Goosha can tell you more than I can, but basically, our king's gone nuts and locked our princess up, and plans to find the Seven Star Stones so he can rule the world. C'mon, we have to get going!"

"Going WHERE?"

"We don't have a ship, but the sages created magical devices to warp between this world and our home!" He took out a strange looking magnifying glass, touched it, and suddenly, a satellite dish came out and pointed towards the east. "The Magnificayer Detector says there's one not far from here, so let's go!"

"But I'm not—"

Suddenly Goombario felt a hand on his shoulder, and he looked up. It was Mario.

"Mario."

The plumber looked the Goomba in his eyes, and nodded. Then, to Goombario's shock, he reached into his belt, and held out something for the Goomba to take.

It was a simple wooden hammer.

Goombario stepped back. "But Mario—I can't—I'm not like—"

"Goombario."

Goombario looked at Goompa, who had a sad smile upon him. "Remember what I told you. 'Everyone's dreams come true—but not always in the way they expect.'" He sighed. "I think this is the epic adventure you've longed for lad."

"Now wait a minute!" Eyes turned towards Goomama. "You want my son to go on this—this—this—"

"Adventure," Goompa suggested helpfully.

"Don't you realize what you're DOING?!" shouted Goomama. "He's a BOY! It was dangerous enough sending him to fight Bowser—now, you want him to go adventuring without Mario!! You're sending him helpless into danger!"

_Adventuring without Mario…_

Goombario clenched his jaw.

He stared at Mario.

Mario believed in him…

Slowly, reverently, he took the hammer from his hero. Almost inaudibly, he whispered, "Thank you."

"Goombario…" Looking around helplessly, Goomama's eyes fell on her husband. "Honey, talk some sense into him!"

Goompapa looked at her. "He's not a boy anymore Mama. I trust him—and so should you." Goomama's lower lip trembled.

"I'll be back Mom, I promise. Just like last time." Pausing for a moment, he walked towards his mother. Bursting into tears, she embraced him, embraced him like she never wanted him to go, never wanted him to grow up…

Seperating, Goombario turned to his father, the man he could always depend on. With a single tear in his eye, the man embraced his son, slowly, respectfully, and separated.

Goombario turned to his sister—the girl he'd always fought with, whether a spoiled brat or a smart-mouthed teenager. Slowly, his mouth broke into a grin. "I'll be back."

"You'd better," she replied, smiling wryly despite her choking voice. "And you'd better tell me all about the cool places you go."

Goombario nodded. "Promise."

And he turned to his Gooma, who simply smiled sagely.

"I know you're a young man—I know you can take care of yourself." She hugged him, the warm wise hug only a grandmother could give. "But you'll always be my little Goomnut."

Goombario nodded. And he turned to Goompa.

Goompa—the old Goomba whom he could always talk to…

Goompa—with whom he'd shared all his hopes and dreams…

Goompa—the man he'd admired and wanted to be like even before Mario…

"Nothing more to be said, eh boy?" chortled Goompa. "Just come home safe." It was not a plea—it was a statement. Like he _knew_ his grandson would return.

_Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry don't cry. Adventurers don't cry. _

Slowly he turned to Goom. "Okay kid—I'm ready."

Goom nodded and ran out the door. "Follow me!"

With one last look at his family, Goombario followed the young Goomba.

Followed him to the adventure of a lifetime…

* * *

Whew! Longest chapter I've written yet! Please read and review!


	5. Prologue Part 4

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Nintendo and Intelligent System's characters, or their Paper Mario Games. I do own all original characters.

* * *

Prologue Part 4

"Does your mom always do that?"

Goombario halted, and narrowly avoided slamming into Goom. "Huh?"

"Does your mom always hug you like that?" There was no teasing in the young Goomba's voice, or his eyes, as he looked up at the older Goomba.

Goombario shrugged. "Pretty much. It gets kind of annoying actually."

"Huh." There was a strange tone to his voice as he turned his back and continued leading. Sensing discomfort, Goombario changed the subject.

"Do you know where we're going?"

"Not at all!" replied Goom cheerfully. "But the Magnificayer sure does." He held up the magnifying glass, whose satellite dish was pointing towards the northeast, off the beaten path of Goomba Road.

"I don't feel comfortable trusting our direction to that weird gizmo," muttered Goombario. He groaned. "Heck, I don't feel comfortable period. How does Mario lug this mallet around all the time?"

"Well you _are_ kinda holding it over your head," Goom pointed out. "If you let it drag, it wouldn't be as hard."

"And let it get dirty?!" exclaimed Goombario. "MARIO gave me this hammer as a sign of trust! There's no way I'll drag it like some cheap tool!"

Goom shrugged. "Whatever floats your boat…okay, what's this?" Goombario looked ahead and saw a large yellow block with carvings that resembled eyes. It was a block he had seen quite a few times.

"This is great," groaned Goom. "The Magnificayer says the teleportor's this way, but there's no way we can lift this block."

Goombario chuckled. "Goom, stand back and prepared to be amazed." Walking up to the block, he paused and gave a deep breath, than, with all his strength, sent the hammer down with a SMASH! The block shattered into rubble, and Goom whistled in awe.

"Nice," he remarked. Goombario smirked.

"Nothing less from this hammer kid. It's smashed hundreds of blocks just like this. And it takes a strong and steady hand like mine to wield it!"

Goom frowned. "On the subject of hands…how do you carry that thing?"

Both stopped and blinked.

Awkward silence.

"Okay…forget I asked," Goom said uncomfortably. "Let's just get going." Not far from the remains of the block, he stopped. "Okay…the Magnificayer's going nuts. The teleporter's got to be right here."

Goombario frowned, and looked around, seeing only a dead end wall. "I think that thing's broken kid…I don't see anything."

"Of course you don't," replied Goom smugly. "The teleporter's got a special cloaking device installed to protect itself. Can't have just anyone discovering our secret kingdom can we?" He started walking around the area. "Should be here somewhere—OOF!"

He fell back, as though he'd crashed into something, and Goombario ran over. "Hey, you okay?"

"Found it," came his muffled voice. The boy jumped up and carefully walked over to where he'd fallen back. He smiled. "Yep, right here. All we gotta do is find the button that makes it visible." For the next few minutes, he grunted in concentration as he walked around the invisible object on all sides, feeling for the button. Before Goombario inquired if he should help, Goom yelped in excitement, "Got it!"

And with the press of a button, there was a distortion in the air, as an object shimmered into existence. Goombario stared at the device. It was over five feet tall, and held an open space. But it wasn't at all what he'd envisioned a teleporter to be—instead of looking metallic, it appeared to be made out of crystal.

"Well, come on!" Goom said impatiently. "Let's get in!" Without hesitating, he stepped into the strange device, and suddenly, his body faded until there was nothing left. Goombario stared at the contraption for a few seconds, and then, with only one thought of looking back, jumped in himself.

---------

All was white.

Goombario blinked rapidly as his eyes attempted to adjust to the blinding flash he had just experienced. Dimly wondering if he had entered the wrong machine (for he hadn't felt himself _moving _anywhere), the temporarily blinded Goomba soon felt his eyesight return with great relief.

And what he saw made him gasp.

"Whoa…."

The land that lay before him was beyond anything he'd ever imagined possible by mortal hands; it looked like Star Haven more than anything else. The kingdom spread out before him, buildings made of neon green crystal, spread out on a beautiful purple road. Lights that seemed to come from the buildings themselves permeated every corner, and the whole kingdom gave a sense of heavenly, unearthly beauty.

But what he saw when he looked upwards took his breath away.

"No way…"

It had clearly been twilight as the two had entered the machine, and yet the sky was dark and filled with stars. Goombario had seen the stars that close before, and, wanting to see if he was right, dashed over to the edge of wherever he was. Sure enough, he saw clouds below him…clouds that almost looked close enough to touch.

"Impressed yet?" Goombario turned his head upwards and saw Goom, looking at him with glowing pride. Goombario nodded dumbly.

"Are—are we in space?" he managed to gasp out.

"You got it," the younger Goomba replied. "We're real high up, beyond anyone's sight. The kingdom has the same cloaking technology the teleporters use, so no one can see us even if they somehow get all the way up here."

"But—this place is amazing! Why wouldn't you want anyone to see it?!"

Goom blinked uncomfortably. "Well, uh…we should get going. You'll meet someone who can explain things way better than I can." Goombario nodded and began walking on the path, but Goom stepped in front. "Not that way…that leads to the castle, and trust me when I say you do NOT want to go there. Not now anyways." He stepped over to the east, to what looked like an alley, and Goombario followed, unsure what to make of his cryptic remarks.

-------

As the two Goombas walked towards their destination, Goombario looked around. The part of the kingdom they were walking through was wondrous, crystal buildings surrounding the area, with odd machines surrounding them. Some appeared to be windmills, but they whirled a strange kind of mirror panel around, and strange metal pumps littered the area, seeming to both take from and give to the ground. There was enough to fully occupy a much more curious mind then Goombario's.

And yet, as Goombario looked at the Goombas working the machines (who seemed to be wearing peasant clothes), he did not see any happiness. The Goombas who manned the pumps, who sat on top of the windmills, all seemed to carry a kind of despair. It was so heavy, that Goombario could hardly find it in himself to wonder about this kingdom's marvels, so occupied was he in thinking about their condition.

"Goom…why are all these people so miserable?" he asked, hoping to finally get some answers from the noticeably somber boy. "Isn't Goomiam supposed to be some great paradise?"

"Shhh!" was his reply, and Goombario was suddenly pushed back into an alley. He glared at Goom.

"What's the big…"

"I said SHHH!" whispered Goom, who pointed his head outwards. Goombario looked at where he was pointing.

Marching through the section of town was a squadron of Goombas. Like the two he had seen with Goomfrey, they wore a strange dark armor and helmets that only revealed their faces…and, on closer inspection, Goombario saw they bore a strange emblem on their armor. It was a black cross, surrounded by a blood red circle.

Four of them, he saw, were carrying two red silk pillows, upon which sat two Goombas. Both looked to be uncommonly fat Goombas, and both wore the same green robe that Goomfrey had worn. Unlike Goomfrey, they possessed a strange look on their faces that spoke of many things—of sloth, of contempt, of meanness. Goombario did not like their faces at all.

"Stop!" called one, and the soldiers stopped, in front of a house, in front of which sat an old and wizened Goomba, with several young ones scampering about. But they stopped cold when they saw the soldiers, and the old Goomba's face turned pale.

"Read the decree," said the one who had called to stop, in a bored sounding voice.

One soldier came forth, and unfurled a scroll. "McGoomley, Mr." he read. "For the crime of failing to meet sufficient taxes for the month, as set forth in the Rump Roast decree of '94, you are hereby sentenced to 10 years of physical labor, as set forth by the Insubordination decree of…"

"Please, my lords," interrupted the Goomba, in a wheezy broken sounding voice. "Times are hard this year—I have no more coins to give…"

"Yes, yes, we know," said the second noble, impatiently. "Hard times, unable to work, low wages, blah, blah, blah. We've heard all these excuses, and it still doesn't justify ruining our Rump Roast."

"That's right," said the other. "If you peasants don't pay your due, then the Rump Roast account doesn't get filled, which means WE don't get our monthly barbeque. In other words, we, the superior Goombas suffer because of you, the inferior ones. Does that sound fair to you?"

"N-no, my lords," quivered the Goomba. "B-but Sir Goomfried, how will imprisoning me solve this matter?"

"It sets an example," explained Goomfried. "Seeing their kind become imprisoned for their wrongs inspires them to avoid such wrongs themselves in the future. And if we simply let the matter slide, than the converse happens, which means more worms will ruin our barbeque. Isn't that right, Goomzel?"

The other nodded. "I couldn't have said it better myself."

"Please, I implore you!" shouted the old Goomba, who flung himself before Goomzel and grabbed his robe "My grandchildren's parents are dead—I am the only one who can care for them!"

"Get your hands OFF of me VERMIN!" shouted the noble, kicking his pleader away. "What happens to your relations is none of my concern! Lieutenant, punish this Goomba for touching his superior!"

The leading soldier raised his spear, and Goombario, unable to bear the scene, began to rush out—despite Goom pulling him back…

"ENOUGH!"

All Goombas stopped their action and looked at the lone Goomba running forth. A black beard covered his face, and though large, he was thin. He wore a green robe like the others, but though his face was stern and fierce, it lacked the lazy cruelty the others held.

"Goomzel and Goomfreed," the newcomer said. "King Goomog requires your presence requiring a matter of utmost urgency. Until such a matter is resolved, as you know, all other matters are put on hold."

"But…but…but," sputtered Goomfried. "This old worm has dared to touch us! Such an insulting action against our kind cannot be left unresolved."

"It is an order directly from the King," said the newcomer immovably. "Would you prefer to complain to him about your petty issues? I'm certain he'd be all too glad to put his grand plan on hold to settle your Rump Roast debate." The two nobles did not respond but merely glared mutinously, and the newcomer smirked. "As I thought. Make your way to the palace; I will join you shortly."

"We won't forget this Goomack," growled Goomzel, and as the procession marched onwards, he shouted, "As for you worm, consider your punishment delayed. We will return as soon as this matter is resolved." With that, the platoon marched onwards. Goomack looked at the trembling old Goomba and smiled.

"Don't worry…you won't be punished. Come with me…I know people who will be willing to help you."

The old Goomba stared at the noble incredulously, but seeing no malice in his eyes, broke into tears. "Thank you my lord—thank you so much! I am your servant for life!"

"Now stop that," he replied gruffly. "I'm no better than you are. Such a childish notion's how we got slime like those two to come about." Suddenly speaking aloud, he said, "Wouldn't you agree, son?"

"DAD!"

Goombario jumped. _DAD?!_

Goom was out in a minute embracing the noble tightly. "Dad, I'm glad to see you, I really am! I knew you'd come on time to rescue the old guy. Come on out Goombario, it's safe now!" Goombario stepped outwards and looked at the two Goombas.

"Your dad's…a noble?"

"In name only," replied Goomack strongly.

"That's right!" exclaimed Goom. "He and Mom are the main guys resisting the King and the nobles! Oh Dad, that's right! I accomplished my mission—I got the Compass Gem! And more than that, I found Goombario, and he's the LEGENDARY HERO!" Goombario was taken aback; this was the most excited he'd seen the boy.

"Now, now, slow down son," replied Goomack calmly, though his eyes looked upon Goombario with wonder and excitement. "Let's take our guests to our base of operations. We can explain things there."

* * *

That's that! Sorry if this chapter was a little darker than the others, but I wanted to illustrate the state Goomiam was in. The next chapter should end the prologue, so look forward to it!


	6. Prologue Part 5

Discussion: I don't own Paper Mario, which belongs to Nintendo and Intelligent Systems, but I own all original characters

* * *

Prologue Part 5

"So, you've been taking care of my boy have you?"

Goombario nodded as the odd-looking party of Goombas (which consisted of him, Goom, Goomack and the rescued family) quietly snuck their way through the kingdom's back alleys. Goomack smiled. "Thank you—I really appreciate it. Goom's still so young—it's such a shame he has to be involved in all this."

"Daaaad…." whined Goom. "I'm 84 years old."

"And I'm 450 years old," replied his father, a statement which made Goombario's eyes widen. He chuckled. "He probably wanted to impress you, but being in your 80's up here is the equivalent of being 8 years old on your world. He's still just a kid."

"I think I figured that out a while ago," remarked Goombario. He frowned. "What happened back there with those nobles…does that happen all the time?"

"I'm afraid so." Goomack sighed. "For some reason, the King just gave the nobles a ridiculous amount of power one day, and now, all these years later, they pretty much run the kingdom. They collect coins for their own frivolous lifestyle and treat all the other Goombas like insects. I've tried to save as many as I can, but…" He looked down in sadness.

"Here we are!" announced Goom. Goombario looked ahead, and saw a dirty-ramshackle shed-like building. The place seemed to have large cracks seeping through, and dust permeated every corner.

Mr. McGoomley looked at Goomack uncertainly. "My lord…is this truly the place my children and I are to stay?"

"Don't worry!" replied Goom before his father could reply. "It just looks like that on the outside to make it look deserted. C'mon in, I'll show ya!" He rushed ahead and Goomack chuckled.

"Still just a kid indeed…well, I'm sorry, but I'll have to leave you now. Can't have the King wondering where I am." He looked at Goombario and his eyes showed a peculiar expression; a sharpness mixed with a strange weariness. "Take care of Goom—and if you are who he says you are…good luck." He walked away, and Goombario looked after him for a bit. Then he turned himself around and nodded towards the family.

"Well, come on. Let's get you guys inside…"

------

"Dad had to leave, huh?"

Goombario nodded, and Goom smiled. "I'm used to it of course…doesn't bother me." Goombario doubted that statement from the Goomba's tone of voice, but decided against pursuing the topic. Instead, he looked around the inside of the shed.

"Uh, Goom…I thought you said only the outside looked like a dump…"

Goom smirked. "Wait." The boy walked over to a table and CLICK! The sound of a pressed button was heard, and suddenly, there was a RUMBLE! The walls and floors slid away, and revealed crystal walls that were gray and metallic looking. A hatch opened up from the floor and suddenly…

"ATTENTION!"

Goom jumped and saluted, much to the other Goombas' confusion. A Goomba woman leapt up from the hatch. She looked to be about Goomama's age, but she had long blond hair, and wore a strange military-looking uniform. She had eyes that looked as fierce as a general, and Goombario's first impression was that this was not a Goomba to be crossed.

"Private Goomton, REPORT!"

"Sir, yes Sir!" replied Goom. "Compass Gem successfully stolen, Sir! Brief altercation with enemies resulting in only minor injuries, Sir!"

She looked at Goombario and the family with a piercing gaze. "And who are these?"

"She scares me, Goompa," whispered the little girl, receiving a hush in response.

"McGoomley and his family, Sir! More victims of the nobles! And the other one is Goombario, the legendary hero, Sir!

The woman nodded in approval. "At ease soldier." Goom visibly relaxed, and she turned to the family first. "Climb your way down the hatch. My men will see to it that you get rations and sleeping quarters."

"Th-thank you Ma'am," stuttered the old Goomba. "If there is anything I can do in return…"

"MOVE!" she shouted in reply. "I have important business to attend to!" The family nodded and hurried down the hatch. The woman turned her sharp gaze on Goombario. "Legendary hero, eh?"

"Well…" Goombario didn't quite know how to respond—the woman rather intimidated him.

"Never mind. It'll be faster if you just show me." Goombario looked at her uncomprehendingly, and she barked, "Touch the Gem, boy!"

"Oh…right!" Goom pulled the Gem out and Goombario quickly took it. Immediately, it began glowing in rainbow-colored lights.

The woman nodded. "That'll do." And Goom took back the Gem. "Goombetty, leader of this small resistance."

Goombario blinked. "Huh?"

"My name!"

"Oh, oh, right."

"You've done well, Private," said Goombetty with a fierce kind of pride. "Now that we've found the hero, I'll go and tell Goosha. Wait here." And she marched down the hatch, without another word.

Goom looked at Goombario's stunned expression and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry about that. Mom's not really a people person."

Goombari jumped. "That…that was your MOM?!"

"Yeah…I know she's not real nice, but she takes in everyone the nobles bully, and she's given her life to fighting the King and his tyranny. I'm…proud to have her as a Mom." He fell silent, and Goombario suddenly realized why the boy had taken such an interest in Goomama's coddling behavior. Neither of them spoke until she returned.

"Come down here!" she barked by way of a greeting. The two quickly followed her down the hatch. At the bottom, Goombario turned his head to look at the place.

It seemed to be a very technological place. Everywhere he looked, Goombas (raggedy and stern Goombas at that) seemed to be examining strange machines. One even seemed to resemble a computer, except the "screen" was not really there and the Goomba working there seemed to be moving the data and pictures on his own.

Noticing his wandering eyes, Goombetty snapped, "No time for sight-seeing, boy! Follow me!" And the two did, walking into a door that seemed to be decorated with a purple king of crystal.

The room seemed to be made of the same purple crystal that decorated the door and there even seemed to be a purple chandelier. Instead of the authoritative technological air that permeated the base, Goombario felt more like he was in a shrine. And sitting on a purple carpet, legs crossed together as though in meditation, was the oldest, most unearthly Goomba Goombario had ever seen. A purple robe surrounded her waxy face, which gave a feeling of sagacity to the Goomba.

At the closing of the door, the Goomba jumped. "Whazzat? Who'z there?" Goombario noticed that she had no teeth in her mouth.

"It's Goombetty. I've brought the hero."

"EH?! Zpeak up, child!"

"I said I've brought the hero!"

"You're down at zero?! Whatzat supposed to mean?!"

"I've brought the hero!!"

"Nero?!! That bum ztill owez me 100 coins!"

"I"VE BROUGHT THE HERO!!!!!"

"Alright, alright, no need to zhout, child! I ain't deaf, ya know!"

Goombetty gave an enormous growl of frustration. "COULD YOU PLEASE USE YOUR MAGIC?!"

"I zaid don't zhout, child! You want me to uze my magic? All ya had to do waz azk!" The Goomba stood up and suddenly, there was a bright flash. She nodded. "That better, child?" Goombario blinked—suddenly, the old Goomba was speaking clearly.

Goombetty rolled her eyes. "WHY can't you have that spell up all the time?"

"'Cause that spell's for deaf people, that's why!" She turned her eyes on Goombario. "So…you're the legendary hero, eh?"

"Well…that's what Goom told me."

She nodded. "Good to meet ya, lad! I am Goosha, daughter of Darlagoom, the Goomba Sage of Healing. To think, that after all these years, the prophecy has finally come true…"

Goombario coughed. "Well…I don't mean to be rude, Ma'am…but I don't really know what's going on here."

"What?" She whipped her head to look at Goom. "You didn't tell him, boy?"

"I told him the really basic version," replied Goom, "but I figured you'd be the best to tell him the details."

"You figured right." Goosha gave a deep sigh and turned to face Goombario again. "Long ago, boy, it was decided that the great kingdom of Goomiam would disappear from the Earth and ascend into space. My mother never told me why, but everyone believes the reason to have been the greed and unrest of the other kingdoms. Our kingdom was a paradise, where there was no rich or poor, no suffering, no sickness. I still remember those days…it was wonderful."

"So what happened?" asked Goombario eagerly.

"Patience, lad, I'm gettin' to that. To guarantee our prosperity, the King of that time, Goomzekiel, called together 7 Goombas—Goombas unversed in magic and wisdom. My mother was one of them. He assigned them a great task—to control the Forces."

"Forces?"

"Yes, lad. Our kingdom prospered because we had special access to the Forces that governed our prosperity. We still don't know exactly what these Forces are, but we knew there were seven of them—the Force of Truth, the Force of Knowledge, the Force of Humility, the Force of Love, the Force of Exploration, the Force of Courage, and the Force of Healing."

She paused, and a look of sadness passed her eyes. "The King wished to have absolute control over these Forces, rather than simply relying on their natural sporadic use. So he tasked the Goomba Sages to create relics, relics that would absorb their power, and allow them to be used."

"The Seven Star Stones?" guessed Goombario.

"Exactly. The Sages worked and sweated for one whole year, until finally, they created the Seven Star Stones. With these seven magical items, Goomaim would never lose its prosperity." She sighed. "But Goomzekiel soon realized he had made a horrible mistake. The Star Stones could do good, but the immense power they wielded tempted many weak-hearted Goombas to want them for themselves. And if an evil-hearted Goomba or any other creature wielded them, they would become tools of evil and bring destruction to the land. So the King ordered them scattered across the earth, to save Goomiam from ruin. But he also had the Sages create a magical Gem to locate them, if, by some chance, Goombakind could become more pure than they were then, the Stones could do good. So that Gem was kept as a national treasure.

"Centuries passed, and we worked hard to maintain our prosperity, with the Forces weakened due to the Star Stones. And soon, the King died, at the age of 540, a premature death for us. So, at a young age, Goomog took the throne. At first, he was like his father—kind, even-tempered, and fair. But one day—he suddenly went mad. For some reason, he gave enormous power to the nobles, which made them selfish and cruel, and prompted them to treat all other Goombas like vermin. Worse, he demanded possession of the Compass Gem, to find the Star Stones.

"The Sages knew they could not allow him to possess the Stones, but they did not know what to do—until something happened. My mother described it as 'complete enlightenment.' They were able to see all—the past, and the future. They saw a Goomba hero who would save Goomiam in its darkest hour. So they cast a spell upon the Gem that would make it only react to that chosen Goomba. Then they hid the Gem deep, deep within the Mines. And then…they disappeared. Just like that." With a deep sigh, she closed her eyes.

"Wow." Goombario had listened to the story, completely enthralled. "What a story."

"It dang well better be," said Goosha, returning to her usual speech. "Ma bored that proper soundin' speech into my head since I was a nipper. Barely use it, but it's still in this old head."

"Anyway," said Goom, "We got you, the hero, and the Gem, so now we can find the Star Stones and save the Princess!"

"That's right," said Goosha. "For some reason, the King locked Princess Goombriel up in the tower one day—maybe he found out she was assistin' us or somethin'. In any case, you've gotta' find the Star Stones before the King does." She looked at Goombario, as though appraising him. "Will you do it lad?"

Goombario stared at the old Goomba, and nodded. "I will. I made up my mind as soon as I saw how those nobles treated that family. I'll do whatever it takes to set things right."

"Good lad!" Goosha exclaimed and jumped up. "Well, there's no time to lose! We gotta get to the Shrine of Goom."

"Shrine of Goom?"

"It's in the prophecy, boy. Quote, 'Yonder hero shall taketh the Gem, and holdeth it before the Sage Statues. The location of the Star Stones shall be revealed.' Unquote."

"Fortunately, we designed a secret passage to the Shrine of Goom," said Goombetty. "C'mon, let's get going!"

-------

As the four Goombas made their way through the passage, Goombario looked around. The grey crystal seemed to be slowly disappearing, and Goombario felt the weary gloom of the base going away as well.

"Open the hatch!"

The ceiling suddenly opened, and the Goombas climbed up the ladder. Goombario looked around, and was nearly blinded.

The place was a shining rainbow of colors—purple, orange, red, blue, yellow—it was literally an assault on the eyes.

Goosaha noticed. "Takes a bit to get used to. Ma and the others were real big on rainbows."

As Goombario's eyes slowly adjusted, he looked around. The place was solemn and majestic, like a temple, and yet, the crystal walls seemed to communicate a feeling of peace and hope. The place seemed quite small—only a hallway that led to seven doors.

"Each one leads to a statue of a different Sage," explained Goom. "The King put up lots of obstacles to keep anyone but himself from entering. Wonder how we're gonna' get to them.

"If I recall, the one that leads to Goombrian's statue don't have nothin'," said Goosha. "Follow me." The ancient Goomba entered the leftmost door, and the others followed, Goombetty last because of her orders to the Goombas guarding the hatch.

"Wellllll….looks like they patched things up since I was here last," said Goosha conversationally. Goombario looked and saw a large yellow block with notches that looked like eyes.

"Wonderful," muttered Goombetty. "How do we get to that statue now?"

Goombario smiled. "Like this." Taking Mario's hammer, he swung down and smashed the block into pieces. "I think I'm getting used to this thing."

"Good work, lad," said Goosha. "Now, onward!" The group made their way past the block, but it wasn't long before they stopped. Before them was a large statue of an old Goomba, made of a dazzling yellow crystal. The Goomba had a long beard that stretched down to bottom of the block it was built on, but he had a merry-looking face that seemed more familiar with laughter than silence.

Slowly, without a word, Goombario took the Gem from Goom and, as it began to dazzle, held it up before the statue.

And that was the last thing he knew.

--------

"_Where…where am I?"_

_Goombario looked around, hoping to find some trace of his whereabouts, but he saw nothing. Nothing but blank, white space._

"_Who are you?"_

_The Goomba jumped at the voice and turned around. And his eyes widened._

_Looking at him with a curious look in her eyes was the most beautiful Goomba Goombario had ever seen. She had tawny brown hair that lay unbraided, and wore a silver dress that dazzled the eyes. Her face was one of beauty, with eyes that simultaneously held a childish innocence and a mature wisdom beyond her years. Goombario cleared his throat nervously._

"_My-my n-name is Goom—Goombario," he stuttered, barely able to speak. The other Goomba's eyes widened._

"_Goombario?! Then my dreams have come true!" She stepped closer to him (much to his discomfort) and gazed at him in wonder. "I am Princess Goombriel. For months, I have dreamt of someone named Goombario…someone important to this kingdom. And now—you have come."_

"_Y-you're the Princess?" Goombario looked at her in confusion, and then looked away blushing. "B-but, aren't you locked up?"_

"_We are in the realm of dreams," Goombriel explained. "I possess the power to see into other's dreams. It's an ability I've had since I was very little."_

"_Is that why the King locked you up?"_

_Now a deep sadness appeared in her eyes, a sadness that cut Goombario's soul. "I…don't know. I don't know what's happened to my father. All I know…is that he must be stopped. If not, Goomiam will be destroyed. This wondrous kingdom and all its inhabitants will perish."_

_Goombario stepped forward, determination overshadowing his sudden shyness. "I won't let that happen. I'll save this kingdom and you." He paused, and acting on a sudden impulse said, "But to do that, I need to find the Star Stones."_

"_I know," the Princess replied. A moment later, wonder appeared in her eyes. "I…don't understand, but…knowledge is pouring into me. I know where the first Star Stone is."_

"_Where?"_

_She fell silent for a moment, closing her eyes, and then suddenly opening them. "Shellshire. The first Star Stone is in Shellshire."_

"_Shellshire," repeated Goombario. "I'll find it, I promise."_

"_I like you," said the Princess suddenly. "I…wish you could stay longer. Your presence…it comforts me. It gives me strength."_

_And that was all Goombario knew…_

--------

"…bario! Goombario!"

Goombario opened his eyes, and saw three faces staring down at him. He groaned. "W-where?"

"We're back at the base," said Goombetty. "You suddenly collapsed when you held the Gem up to the Statue. You were perfectly fine but you just couldn't wake up. Private Goomton was worried to death." She shook her head. "What happened back there?."

"The Gem…" Memories suddenly poured back in, and Goombario jumped up. "I saw the Princess! She told me where the first Star Stone is!"

"What?" Goosha looked at him in wonder. "Are ya sure, boy? It wasn't just a dream?'

"No, I'm sure of it," said Goombario determinedly. "She said the first Stone is in Shellshire."

"Shellshire…of course!" exclaimed Goosha. "Old Goombrian loved Koopas—only natural he'd leave his to them."

"So, how do I get there?"

"That's easy." Goombario's eyes turned towards Goombetty. "Goomiam built teleporters that lead to places all over Earth." She frowned in concentration. "If my memory is right…there's a teleporter that leads to Shellshire just a little beyond the Shrine."

"Then I'd better get going." Goombario got up, and nodded. "Thanks for all your help everyone—especially you, Goom." The young Goomba didn't say anything.

"Good luck, lad." Goosha tipped her head. "We'll be waiting for you."

Goombario nodded and was about to turn around…

"Sir! Permission to go with Goombario requested!"

All eyes turned towards Goom. Goombetty's expression was one of shock. "What?!"

"Legendary hero, or not, he can't do this alone," said Goom. "I can help, really!" He hastily added, "Sir."

Goombetty frowned. "Request denied, soldier. We don't know what kind of dangers are out there."

"Hardly more dangerous than stayin' here, though," said Goosha, unexpectedly supporting Goom. "The boy found the hero, Goombetty. I think this may be his fate."

"But—"

"Please Sir?" Goom looked up at his mother imploringly. She sighed.

"Fine. Request granted. But don't get yourself in trouble soldier. That's an order!"

"Yes Sir!" Goom saluted and smiled at Goombario cheekily. "Well, guess you're stuck with me."

Goombario rolled his eyes teasingly, and chuckled. "Guess I could have worse traveling companions. Alright then, Goom, let's go! Adventures don't complete themselves, ya know!"

"You got it!" And with that, the two Goomba boys marched out the door. As Goombario saw the expression on Goombetty's face, he chuckled to himself.

_Guess our moms aren't so different after all._

_

* * *

_

That's all! This is the longest chapter I've written yet, but it's worth it to finally finish the Prologue!

Next time—Chapter 1 begins! No spoilers, but I can guarantee that it's gonna be lots of fun.

So Read and Review!


	7. Chapter 1 Part 1

Disclaimer: Since Nintendo and Intelligent Systems own Paper Mario, I'll just have to settle with owning all original characters.

I have to ask before I continue—what's with my lack of reviews? Three reviews for six chapters? I'm going to keep writing regardless, but I'd really appreciate it if you all could just tell me what you think of my story.

Anyways, let it begin!

* * *

Chapter 1

The Tale of Sir Koopahad

"Wooooowwwww."

Goombario had to echo his young friend's eloquent statement.

It had been a short and easy trip to the teleporter near the Shrine, and a simple jump to warp to their destination. Neither one of the two Goombas knew exactly what to expect.

And upon arrival, they couldn't help but admire the view.

The land before them was a field, pleasant and refreshing, almost like Pleasant Path—except instead of the green pleasantry, there was a brown and yellowish luster. Trees with bright orange leaves surrounded the area, and yellow grass stood beside a beaten and travel-worn path. The sun hung in the air, but even though it was morning (at least according to Goombario's reckoning) it seemed to be orange and setting.

The whole area gave a feel of perpetual autumn.

Goom snapped out of his reverie. And an enormous grin spread across his face.

"THIS…IS…SO…COOOOOL!!!!" He began running around, running through gathered leaf piles, laughing. "Everything's all brown and yellow and stuff! I've never seen anything like this before—wow, look at that sun! I've seen the sun, but never like that! Look…"

Goombario chuckled. _Just a kid, alright,_ he thought to himself. Aloud, he cleared his throat. "Goom, the land's nice and all, but we need to find that Star Stone. Goosha said there was a village of Koopas around here, right?"

"Yeah, that's right!" gasped Goom, out of breath from his running. "Goosha told me old Goombrian loved Koopas…said her mom used to call him half-turtle." He jumped in excitement. "C'mon, let's get goin'! I've never seen a Koopa before!" He ran ahead, and Goombario ran after him.

"Hey kid, slow down! We don't know what's in this place…" He stopped, and saw Goom fly backwards, skidding to a halt behind him. Alarmed, he ran to his side. "Are you okay?!"

"I-I think so…look out!" Goombario jumped aside just in time to avoid a spinning red shell. The shell stopped, and out popped two yellow arms and legs, and a scowling, beak-like face wearing curved sunglasses and a spiked neck-collar. "I-Is that a Koopa?"

Goombario nodded. "Yeah, but a Koopa of the nasty variety." Hearing angry mutterings behind him, he groaned. "And it looks like he's not alone." Turning around, the two saw a pair of Goombas. One was normal, but the other wore a green hat with a single spike jutting out. "Goom, take out the normal one! You know how to Headbonk, right?"

"Y-yeah." Getting up, the boy jumped in the air and landed on the Goomba head-first. With two bonks, the Goomba fell down unconscious. The Spiked Goomba grew angry and jumped towards Goom, but Goombario jumped in the way, receiving a nasty poke from the spike. "Goombario!"

"I'm okay," said Goombario wincing. "Leave this clown to me!" Heaving his hammer up, he brought it down on his opponent's head. The Goomba fell back, dazed. Goombario smirked, until he heard the sound of a spinning projectile behind him and narrowly jumped aside. "Forgot about shell-boy…"

"I've got him!" Goom jumped again, and with his Headbonk, the Koopa fell over on his shell, flailing his arms around helplessly. Goombario gave the turtle another Headbonk, and a final attack from Goom sent the Koopa to Dreamland. Goom sighed. "That…was nasty."

Goombario shrugged. "These guys are small fry compared to what's out there. Still, I think it's best we stay together 'til we get to the village….don't wanna let them have the first strike. No more running off like before, okay?"

Goom nodded. "Okay...I just hope we don't run into many more of those guys."

The older Goomba laughed. "Don't worry, kid. First time's always the worst. These guys won't stand a chance against us before long."

----------

True to Goombario's word, the following battles with the Goomba and Koopa brigands went much smoother, and merely served as minor interruptions along the pleasant walk along the path.

"Goombario?"

"Yeah?"

"What are Koopas like? Have you ever met one?"

He nodded. "Yeah—in fact, I traveled with a Koopa when I went on that adventure with Mario. His name was Kooper, but I don't think he's a shining model of what Koopas are like. To be honest, he was kind of a nut." He paused. "Koopas…are laid back creatures. They don't really keep up with what's going on as long as it doesn't affect them. They're usually friendly and helpful though, so we should be able to find out where the Star Stone is."

"Oh." He looked down. "Man…I thought they'd be more exciting than that…" Both Goombas stopped as they saw a gap ahead, with no way to cross. "Soooo…any ideas on how to get across, Mr. Expert Hero?"

Ignoring the jibe, Goombario looked around…and saw a tree close by. "Got a pretty good idea, yeah." He smacked the tree with his hammer and with a THUD, a strange blue square with an exclamation mark painted on it fell from the branches. "Voila." He pounded the switch, and there was a rumble as a large wooden bridge sprang up and unfurled itself.

"…Okaaaay," said Goom after a moment of silence. "Did that happen all the time to you on your adventure?"

"That or something like it," replied Goombario as they went on.

Ahead, the two saw a large overhang. Printed on the arch, with faded writing, was the greeting, _Welcome to Koopalot._

Both turned and looked at each other, and simultaneously asked, "Koopalot?"

The two looked again and saw smaller writing below the greeting that read, _Yes, Koopalot._

"Huh," said Goombario. "This must be the place." They walked under the arch, and looked around.

The village was very old and archaic looking—instead of houses, there were clumsily made straw huts, with crude smokestacks sticking out on top. The Koopas who walked around wore clothes that appeared to belong to some older time—the men wore raggedy jeans and simple straw hats, while the women wore modest hoods around their faces. They looked dirty and poor, and yet, there was a curious expression of humorous joviality on each of their faces, the kind one wears after hearing a very good joke—Goombario noted some who were talking together and suddenly falling onto their shells in laughter. The simple village seemed to somehow comfortably meld with the autumn landscape.

"Oy! 'Ere now!" Both Goombas jumped and saw one of the Koopas coming towards them. "Blimey—visitors! We ain't 'ad one 'o those since I can't remember when! Goombas too—and young' ins by the looks of it." He smiled. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Koopalot. Not much of a kingdom, I know, but right pretty, eh?"

"Hmm…" Goombario blinked. "I think Goompa told me about this place—said it was real old-fashioned…"

"That's right, lad," replied the Koopa. "We don't believe in none of them fancy high-tech lifestyle stuff, like plumbin' or electiwhatsist."

"Um…don't you mean electricity?" suggested Goom.

"Probably," said the Koopa shrugging. "Actually, you boys might 'ave chosen a bad time to visit. Ain't my place to say, but we 'ere have a mighty bit of trouble goin' on. Go see the king if ya wanna know more…right now, I need a joke." He walked off, and the two Goombas looked at each other.

"I wonder what trouble he was talking about," mused Goombario.

"Well, let's go see this king!" replied Goom. "If he's the head honcho here, he probably knows about the Star Stone." He walked ahead and Goombario followed.

As they walked through the village, the Goombas noticed bizarre things around them. They noticed two Koopas slapping each other with Cheep-Cheeps, a Koopa taking ridiculously long strides with his feet, and an importantly dressed Koopa yelling at others to "stop being silly."

"…Goom?"

"…Yeah?"

"Is it me, or is this place weird?"

"It's not you," Goom responded. "I did hear though, that Goombrian had a very strange sense of humor. Maybe he shared it with the Koopas…"

"You're not from around here, are you?"

Both Goombas turned around and blinked. A Koopa stood before them—a young female Koopa. But she didn't look like any of the others. She had short purple hair that was streaked with pink lines, and a bored, apathetic pair of green eyes. Piercings permeated her being, with several on her nose, both sides of her head, and even one in her shell, and black lipstick covered her mouth.

"Ummm…hello," said Goombario, not sure how to respond to her.

She grunted in response.

"I'm…Goombario," he continued uncertainly. "And this is Goom."

"How come you look like a weirdo, Miss?" asked Goom—a question that was answered with a BONK! Rubbing his head, he glared at Goombario. "What did you do that for?!"

"Don't be rude!" hissed Goombario. Contrary to looking angry, however, the Koopa actually gave a small smile.

"I think I like you two clowns." She gave a small bow. "Koopita, Princess of Koopalot, Lady of Fairness, blah, blah, blah. Just call me Rust."

"You're…a Princess?" Goombario asked in confusion.

"Yeah, just like my Dad's a real King—King of a mighty empire." She rolled her eyes. "If you're coming to live here, I'd urge against it. Land's boring as heck, and local residents are out of their mind. Case in point—are you a Koopathic or a Proteshell?"

"Umm…neither?"

"Doesn't matter—any answer gets you an interrogation with the Inquisition." She pointed towards a group of Koopas dressed in red who were poking another (who looked to be paralyzed with laughter) with soft cushions and screaming at him to confess.

"I'll keep that in mind…" muttered Goombario. Aloud, he said, "Actually, we're looking for something called a Star Stone. Have you ever heard of it?"

Rust shook her head. "No, but if it's valuable, chances are my old man has it. 'Course, now might be a bad time, but whatever. C'mon, I'll get ya an audience."

"Really? It's not too much trouble?"

"Nah, he doesn't have anything to do but sit around and look important. I'm doing him a favor."

---------

"Heya Dad."

Goombario and Goom looked around the dwelling they had been taken to. Though the residents called the King's place a "castle" it was really just a fancier and larger straw hut with more expensive looking wood forming the walls and door. Sitting ahead of them was a large octagon shaped table, and sitting above that was a large cushioned chair. Sitting on the "throne" was a middle aged Koopa with a stern face, who wore a crown upon his head that appeared to be made of plastic.

"Gadzooks Koopita!" rumbled the King. "Did I not say to remove yourself from my presence until you were clothed in apparel suitable for a Princess?!"

"Whatever," replied Rust. "These two wanted to see you—something about a Star Stone, I dunno."

"Indeed?" The King turned his gaze upon the Goombas. "And for what purpose do you two seek this treasure?"

Goombario walked forward and bowed. "Your Majesty, we—"

"WAAAIIIIITTTT!!!!"

All the figures jumped as an aged Koopa with a white beard, and clothed in a blue robe and a pointed wizard's hat, ran in with a wild look in his eyes. "Your Majesty, I, the all powerful Kooplin, shall use my magical power to divine the purpose of these Goombas!"

Rust rolled her eyes. "Like the time you divined that the purpose of the Toad Town ambassador was to spread Koopa Pox across the land?"

"Still your tongue Koopita!" snapped the King, who gazed upon the newcomer with eager excitement. "Please Mighty Kooplin, if you would."

"Of course!" Kooplin closed his eyes for a moment—and immediately they flew open. "You are John Goombaton and John Goombaton Jr., on an important business trip! A trip with the purpose to reveal inner corruption and graft in the Department of Flying Pidgits!"

There was a pause.

"Fantastic!" said the King clapping his hands. "You are truly amazing, Mighty Kooplin!"

"Yeah, he's amazing all right," said Goombario sarcastically. "I've never seen someone guess something so completely and utterly wrong before."

Another pause.

"GAAAAAAHHHHHH!" shouted Kooplin, throwing his hands and eyes heavenwards. "WHHHYYYYYY?!!! WHY HAVE MY POWERS FORSAKEN ME?!!!!"

"…Riiiiight," replied Goombario. "Your Majesty, we need the Star Stone to fulfill the Goomba Sages' ancient prophecy. I was told that the great Goombrian spent a lot of time here—surely, he told you of this?"

"The prophecy?" said the King, his eyes widening. "Has that day truly come?"

"They may be imposters, Your Majesty!!" shouted Kooplin. "Minions of Doormama, in disguise to deceive us!"

"Doormama?" said Goom in confusion.

"You raise a fine point, Mighty Kooplin," replied the King. "Do you have any proof of your claims, young Goomba?"

"He does, King Guy," replied Goom, which made the King wince. "Observe." The boy took the Compasss Gem out of the little bag it had been put in and gave it to Goombario. At the Gem's appearance, the King and Kooplin gasped, and at the shining colors it radiated at Goombario's touch, they looked as though they would faint dead away. Even Rust's bored eyes widened slightly.

"The Gem…the Chosen One," gasped the King reverently. He jumped off the throne and fell to the floor. "O Legendary Hero, please forgive my doubts. Lord Goombrian spoke of your coming—I should have known…"

"Um…it's alright, Your Majesty," said Goombario uncomfortably, and trying to ignore Goom's snickering. "I…um…just need the Star Stone, that's all."

The King rose. "Would that I could grant your request Legendary Hero, but alas, I cannot. The Stone disappeared at the same time our kingdom came under attack from the evil Doormama."

"Doormama used to be my apprentice," said Kooplin in continuation. "He was a lazy, unprincipled good for nothing, who couldn't cast a spell to save his life. Then suddenly, one day, he rained terror upon Koopalot, with powers even greater than my own."

"And you're surprised…why?" muttered Goom, which earned him a bonk from Goombario.

"He resides in the ancient castle to the east of our kingdom," said the King, only now revealing a deep despair in his eyes. "He comes down periodically to demand whatever he pleases from us—gold, food, servants, anything and everything." He looked in sadness upon the table. "My Knights of the Octagon Table have each valiantly attempted to storm his castle—only to come back as broken, sobbing shells of the brave Koopas they once were. They scream of monsters of their worst nightmares—Sir Lanceoopa screamed of liverwurst. Whatever powers, he wields, it is too horrible for anyone to bear. We attempt to live our lives the same—relying greatly upon Lord Goombrian's legendary jokes—but we cannot live like this. I fear—we shall perish from despair by and by."

Goombario nodded. "Then I guess there's no other way. We gotta beat this Doormama clown."

The King looked upon Goombario uncertainly. "Legendary Hero…I do not mean to doubt you, but…well…"

"Hey, don't worry!" replied Goombario. "I helped beat up losers who bullied people even before I was a Hero! This clown doesn't stand a chance."

"You are brave, Hero…if I may venture to say, perhaps rashly so," said the King slowly. "If you wish to battle this plague and attempt to save us, I will not stop you. Unfortunately, your challenge begins with entering Doormama's castle…for it has proven inaccessible for all save a Koopa Knight. And all lie stricken with terror within their homes, unable to even set foot outside."

"Forgive me, Your Majesty," interrupted Kooplin, with a much quieter voice than he had previously used, "but you are incorrect. There is still one who remains…"

But at his words, the King's face grew furious. "Kooplin, I have told you, as I have countlessly told my daughter, I will not have that Koopa mentioned within my kingdom!!! He is a disgrace to the Knights and to all of Koopakind, and I would sooner leave this world than send him to this task!!! UNDERSTAND?!!" He gazed around the room, and all nodded quickly and nervously, even Rust. Quickly, he calmed down. "I don't know how you will enter…but I wish you luck, Legendary Hero. For our sake."

Goombario nodded and bowed before walking towards the door ever so quicker than what might have been normal. Once outside, he shook his head. "What was THAT about, I wonder?"

Goom blinked. "Goombario, if this guy's the only one who can get us into the castle, then we gotta get his help."

"I know…but how do we find him? I doubt the King will tell us—you saw how mad he got when he was mentioned."

"I know where he is."

Both Goombas turned around. Rust was standing behind them, a curious, almost sorrowful look in her eyes. "His name is Sir Koopahad. He's a hopelessly stupid, chuckle-headed moron, even by this village's standards. There's no way to reason with him—a jackhammer couldn't penetrate that concrete wall he calls a head. You'll never get him to help you."

Goombario shrugged, mentally noting the lack of bite to the Koopa's insults. "Maybe, but we have to try, right? If you know where he is…"

"Here." She handed them an envelope. "This is a letter with the Royal Seal or whatever on it. The guard at the end of the village will let you through if you show this to him. Once you get to the second part of Autumn Road, just keep going southeast, past the castle, and you can't miss his shack. Be careful though—the place is crawling with hoodlum Koopas. Some have even formed a kind of gang—calls themselves the Black Chickens or something."

Goombario nodded. "Thank you. We'll do our best."

"Just don't get your hopes up," replied Rust scathingly, as she turned to walk away. Goombario looked at the envelope—and noticed something that had been hastily wiped away.

A kiss mark—the color of black lipstick…

* * *

And that's it for now! The chapters will be longer from now on, so expect bigger adventures! And please review!


	8. Chapter 1 Part 2

Disclaimer: Paper Mario does not belong to me, but to Nintendo and Intelligent Systems. I do own all original characters.

* * *

Chapter 1 Part 2

"Are you the gate guard guy?"

Goombario and Goom had arrived at the end of the village, where a single Koopa stood in front of a small wooden gate. The Koopa had a cheeky look in his eyes, and a wide grin that made them both feel uncomfortable.

"That I am, that I am," the Koopa replied.

Goombario handed him the letter. "We need to head to the Autumn Road. Here's a letter of approval from the princess."

"Ah, cuddlin' up to the princess are ya? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge."

Goombario jumped and his face turned crimson from embarrassment. "Wh-what the heck are you—"

"Hey, no need to disclose private life, know what I mean? Know what I mean? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge."

"I don't—"

"Fine taste, eh? Know what I mean? Wink, nudge."

"LOOK, buddy," said Goombario loudly, who had had enough, "we just want to pass this stupid gate! So enough of the winking and nudging!"

The Koopa's smile disappeared, and he muttered, "Spoilsport." With that, he unhinged the gate's latch, and it swung open. "Careful out there lads—nasty people live there. Doormama, and that Black Chicken gang. Trust you're smart boys, though—know what I mean?"

"Oh, shut up," muttered Goombario, as he stomped out of the village. Goom looked up at him inquisitively.

"Goombario…what was that guy talking about? And why'd you get so mad?"

Goombario blanched. "It's…it's something you don't need to know about yet, kid."

The Autumn Road was similar in appearance to the road before Koopalot—it was filled with grass and a path that lead straight through. But the area had a more significant number of Koopa thugs—despite the ease with which they were dispatched, the Goombas were panting before half an hour had passed.

"Good thing we got some of these before we left," remarked Goombario as he handed an exhausted Goom a bright red Mushroom. Looking overhead, his eyes fell on a large, foreboding castle in the hill over them. Even from the distance, the building looked fiendish and threatening, and felt like the approaching presence of an enormous monster.

"That must be Doormama's place…" Looking ahead, there was a large pit separating another part of the field that held a small blue switch on the other side. "Guess we know why we need a Koopa."

"Goombario, look!" Goombario snapped out of his reverie and looked towards the southeast where Goom was jumping down a natural set of ground platforms led downwards. Jumping down them, he saw a solitary straw hut that lay across the grassy landscape. "Looks like we found our guy!"

Goombario nodded. "Looks that way…let's hope the guy'll talk to us." Walking up to the door, he knocked loudly.

No answer.

Frowning, he knocked again. "Helloooooo? Sir Koopahad?"

"Leave me." The voice that answered through the door was heavy and quiet sounding. Moreover, it was filled with a heavy despair that Goombario felt with its every sound.

Goombario, never one to be deterred, knocked again. "C'mon, we need to talk to you! It's important!"

"I am in no shape to even be beholden anymore," answered the voice. "I have become a disgraced Knight—and now, I have even lost my lance, Nasir. It is too fine a weapon for one such as myself—but it is all that remains of my past life's honor."

"You _lost_ your weapon?" exclaimed Goombario in disbelief.

"More correctly, it was stolen from me—undoubtedly the work of the Black Chickens. Would that I could confront them and retrieve it—but to do so would be to reveal my disgrace to the world."

"Soooo…if we get your lance back for you, will you at least let us in and let us talk to you?" asked Goombario.

The voice sighed heavily. "If you prove your worth to such an extent, I would have no right to deny you."

"Alright!" Goombario spun around to leave—then swung back around, and asked sheepishly, "Umm…where can we find these Chicken guys?"

"They lie to the east, at the end of this path."

"Thanks." With that, the two headed past the house to continue on the path.

Leaving the owner of the heavy, despair-laden voice to be miserable in solitude…

----------

"Sheesh, that guy must be great at parties," remarked Goom sarcastically. "Seriously, what do ya think happened to him to make him such a killjoy?"

"Don't know," replied Goombario as he smashed a yellow block that blocked their way. "We'll have to find out if we wanna get his help. First things first, though…we gotta get that lance back." He suddenly stopped, and Goom, who was walking behind and looking at the scenery, nearly slammed into him. "Looks like we've found our culprits."

Goom looked ahead and saw the most bizarre building yet witnessed. It was large and imposing, but it appeared to be made of mud—and very crudely, as straw poked out everywhere, in poor attempts to hide the cracks that appeared all over the building. And standing atop it was a large flagpole with a large black flag that had the words "Baddest Nice Guys" in large red letters.

"Not quite what I was expecting," remarked Goombario. "These guys probably won't be much trouble. Still…stay close to me Goom."

Goom glowered at him in response. "I've kicked just as much butt as you have! I don't need to be babysat!" Before Goombario could stop him, the boy rushed into the building (a door was absent). Muttering angrily, Goombario ran in after him.

"Goom?" The room was completely dark, and Goombario was unable to even see the walls around him. "Man…what I wouldn't give for Watt right now…Goom! Where are you?"

"Heh heh heh…" Torches suddenly came to life, and Goombario saw three Koopas facing him. In addition to the sunglasses and spiked collar that signified their wickedness, the Koopas wore chicken suits around them that were all painted black. Strewn across from them, unconscious, was…"

"GOOM!" Running over to him, he checked him over—fortunately, despite an ugly bruise, he looked unharmed. He turned around and glared at the Koopas. "You losers have got some nerve, doing that to my friend."

"Heh, that's funny," remarked a Koopa who stepped forward confidently. "You and that brat bust into _our_ hangout, and you say _we've_ got nerve? You even know who we are, kid?"

"You're some group of morons called the Black Chickens or something," replied Goombario.

"NO!" screamed the Koopa, much to Goombario's surprise. "NO, NO, NO, NO, NOOOOOO!!! WE'RE THE BLACK DUCKS!!! THE BLACK **DUCKS**!!!!"

"Black…Ducks?" said Goombario in confusion. "But…you're wearing chicken suits…"

"I TOLD you, didn't I!!!" shouted the Koopa, turning around to another one. "I TOLD you to get DUCK SUITS!!!! Now EVERYONE gets our name wrong!!!"

"I-It wasn't my fault, Ramon," stuttered the Koopa. "The costume shop was all out of duck suits—s-so I figured we could work with chicken suits…"

Seeing the argument, Goombario coughed to get the thugs' attention. "Umm…if it's all the same to you, I don't think the names make much difference…"

"Ah, but that's where you'd be wrong, kid!" exclaimed Ramon. "See, chickens are nasty creatures—peck your eyes out. Ducks are nice, sweet little guys who you feed bread crumbs to. And since we're nice guys, we're the Black DUCKS!"

"Nice guys?" Goombario stared at him in disbelief. "You steal stuff! You hurt my friend! How are these things 'nice?'"

Ramon shook his finger reprovingly. "No one gets the way we roll. We're nice in our OWN way! We're nice, but we stand out from the nice crowd, cause we have a hint of badness! Not like those namby-pamby knights up there in Koopalot! Those losers don't get our brand of niceness, so we mess with them! As for the kid…" He paused. "Um…we're nice to him…because…well…" He looked at the other two for help.

"We're giving him incentive!" suggested the Koopa who Ramon had shouted at. "So he don't get in over his head no more!"

"That's right, that's right!" said Ramon, nodding his head. "Just what I was gonna say!" The last Koopa, who had not spoken at all, nodded mutely.

Goombario rolled his eyes. _Just my luck I get to fight a gang of __**stupid**__ bad guys._ Aloud, he said, "Well, I'm here to take back a lance you guys stole. If you give it back, I'll let you off with a _light_ beating."

Ramon laughed sardonically. "Don't think so kid. Anything we take becomes Black Duck property, and anyone who enters, becomes Black Duck prey. Cudge, Simper, let's get him!" The three Koopas entered their shells and lunged themselves at Goombario, who narrowly avoided the first two, and was knocked back by the last. Grunting, he jumped up and Bonked one of the Koopas, who fell on his shell and grunted to the others for help.

"I've got him Cudge!" shouted the nervous one, who lunged at Goombario again, only to be smashed into the wall by a deflecting Hammer shot. "Ow, ow, ow, ow! That huuuurrt!"

"And now for you!" Goombario jumped and smacked Ramon head-first…

Only to feel a large a jab through his cranium and fall back in pain.

"Wh-what?" Looking up, he saw Ramon, smirking triumphantly at him—and sharp things, now poking through his chicken-suit. "S-Spikes?"

His opponent laughed. "That's right, kid! Got me one of those fancy spiked shells those Koopatrols use! I'm a Spiked Koopa Troopa!" He turned towards his lackeys. "Enough playing around boys! We'll show this punk a world of hurt!"

Cudge jumped from his back, and Simper slowly stood up, wincing. Together, the three again entered their shells and all smashed into Goombario.

At least, that was their intention.

Instead, the Koopas felt a searing, fiery pain wrack their bodies, as a small red tulip suddenly sprouted from the ground and blasted forth red-hot flames.

Slowly, grimacing from the pain to his head, Goombario smirked. "Good thing I got one of those from the village too." He looked at the Black Ducks. Cudge and Simper were both unconscious and Ramon was limping, barely able to stand.

"You…little…punk…" he gasped in pain. "No one…humiliates…the Black Ducks!!!" The Koopa charged forward, all sense of finesse and planning gone, driven only by desperate rage.

Rage that was extinguished by the Hammer blow that fell upon his head.

Goombario sighed in relief. "Thought I'd bought it there…" Hearing groans, he turned behind him and saw Goom, slowly rising. He ran towards the boy. "Are you alright?"

Goom moaned in pain, and gave a small nod.

"Here." Goombario handed Goom a Mushroom which he ate eagerly. "What the heck were you THINKING?! I told you to stay with me, and you rush off like Goom Lee! You're lucky you weren't killed!"

Goom lowered his head—and noticed the bruise on Goombario's head. Tears began welling up in his eyes. "You got hurt…'cause of me…" he simpered weakly.

Goombario blinked, and sighed. "It's nothing…fortunes of war and all that. C'mon." He picked the boy up and lifted him on his back. "Just promise me you won't do that again, okay? I'd have had an easier time beating 'em if you were with me." Goom nodded. "Good enough. Now let's find this lance thing and get out of here before those 'nice guys' come to…"

--------

Knock, knock, knock.

"Hey Koopahad?" Goombario's voice was much more tired and annoyed than last time. "We've got your lance, so open the door and let us see your face!"

Silence.

With a _creeeek_, the door slowly opened. Goombario looked forward in an attempt to see the figure, but could see nothing. "Come inside."

Goombario entered, and saw the inside of the house.

It was gray and dusty, as though no one had lived in it for ages, and it held no furniture but a small dresser and a table with a single chair. Upon the dresser were aged black and white photos. Goombario looked closer and saw they were of a Koopa in silver knight's armor, with a proud and confident smirk on his face. Hanging on the wall near them were strange looking skins that, Goombario noticed, were the only things that did not have dust permeating them.

"Sit down." Goombario looked and saw a Koopa behind the door. He was dressed in raggedy, patchwork clothes that seemed poor even when compared to the Koopas in the village. His eyes were blank and utterly devoid of any emotion.

Goombario carefully set a sleeping Goom down and propped him up on the chair. He looked at the Koopa. "I'll stand if it's alright."

The Koopa looked directly into Goombario's eyes. "You are a Goomba." He walked over to the table. "What business do you have with me?"

"My name's Goombario," replied the Goomba, "and the boy's name is Goom. First, here's your lance back." He handed the long thin blade to the Koopa. For a moment, a look of longing and delight appeared on his face, but it quickly faded.

"Thank you," he acquiesced. "You are brave—and skilled, to be able to best those vandals."

Goombario nodded. "Our real business with you involves the threat to your land. We plan to fight the evil wizard Doormama."

The Koopa's blank expression did not change. "Why should this threat involve you?"

"We're on a quest to find seven objects called Star Stones," explained Goombario, "and it's likely that this Doormama guy has one. We need a Koopa to enter his castle, and it looks like you, Sir Koopahad, are the only Knight available."

"I have long since ceased to hold the honor and dignity of a Knight," replied Koopahad. "You would be well advised to abandon your quest—I cannot help you."

"That's not an option," said Goombario heatedly. "Why aren't you a Knight anymore?"

"The details are of little importance," said Koopahad. "Suffice it to say, I have disgraced myself beyond any hope of redemption."

If Goombario had possessed arms, he would have folded them stubbornly. "Sorry, bud, but I'm gonna need more than that to accept your refusal."

The Koopa sighed, a deep sigh, filled with sadness.

"When I was but a lad," he began, "I longed, more, than anything, to be a knight, like my father before me." He motioned to the pictures on the dresser. "My father, Sir Koopwin—he was the greatest knight in all of Koopadom. He faced any challenge with bravery and honor, slew beasts no one had even knew existed, protected Koopalot more times than anyone could count. But above all, he was always kind to me, always encouraged me to follow my dream. Many times, when I felt the training was too much and was on the verge of surrendering, he would always box me, and get me to continue. Even at his death—a death caused by poison—he lived with honor, always smiling, even as his soul left this world.

"Years passed, and I became a Knight. It was the proudest moment of my life—to achieve my dream and protect all those whom I loved." A smile crossed his lips, a smile full of happy remembrance. "My deeds were celebrated—indeed, some even claimed I would surpass my father, as I had begun my life as a Knight younger than he had."

His smile disappeared. "But…it was not to be. The King's nephew, Koopdred, had shown signs of desiring the throne for himself, and the King assigned me to watch him, and to subjugate his treachery—by force, if necessary. But I was foolish and utterly unable to watch over Koopdred, so charmed was I by his polite demeanor. And so, I did not watch, as he slipped a vial of Putrid Piranha poison into the Royal Koopa Tea—tea that was meant for the King, but was instead drunk by his fair Queen, the Lady Koopavere. She fell dead before she took another sip.

"The King was enraged, and had Koopdred exiled forever. And I—I who had failed to protect the Queen, his greatest love, received a similar fate. I was stripped of my title (though allowed to keep my armor and weapon) and though never officially banished, I could not bear to stay in the village. For one, I could not bear the anger and disgust stemming upon me from the Knights—for another, I could not bear the guilt I felt at my failure, my disgrace. And so, I moved out here, in this abandoned hut, rightfully cut off from Koopalot and its honorable residents. And thus it has been for five years."

There was a dead silence. Koopahad still gazed upon Goombario with his blank stare, and Goombario could not think of what to say to such a story. At last, the Koopa broke the silence.

"Now you know. Please leave me to my agony."

Unsure of what else to do, Goombario moved his feet towards Goom….

"So."

He froze. Koopahad turned around.

There, in the doorway, staring at Koopahad hardly was a female Koopa with purple hair.

Koopahad bowed. "Lady Koopita…"

"Shut up." Though Rust's eyes still held a bored, apathetic expression, her voice was shaking with emotion. "Five years of being apart, with _nothing_, not so much as a stinkin' _letter_, between us, and the first thing you do is that STUPID formality! You're STILL an idiot!"

"It is as you say, Lady Koopita," replied Koopahad, who had not moved from his position. "You may insult me as much as you like. I deserve no less, and truthfully could only bear such things from you."

"Idiot." Before Goombario had realized it, she had flown into her shell and SLAMMED into the prostrate Koopa. "Stupid. Idiot. So caught up in the past, so stuck on one STUPID STINKIN' thing you COULDN'T have prevented, that you can't see ANYTHING else!"

Koopahad said nothing, but merely cast his eyes upon the floor, still unwilling to make eye contact. Rust popped out of her shell and sent a fiery glare towards him.

"Fine." She went out of the door. "Whatever." She stepped onto the grass. "It's just as well that you're out here, because you're a DIFFERENT kind of idiot then you used to be. The Koopahad I knew was a moron—he charged at anything that looked dangerous, he beat Koopa thugs like they were dragons, and he swore his constant protection and loyalty towards me. He was a moron—and it was that moron I fell in love with. Tell me if you ever see him again." And she ran off towards the village.

Koopahad rose to his feet. He looked at Goombario. "You were leaving, I believe?"

Something snapped.

Goombario jumped over towards him. "That's it? You're just gonna sit there like a beaten dog the rest of your life? You're not even gonaa TRY anymore?!"

A curious change came over Koopahad's eyes—they suddenly lighted with anger. "What would you know of my pain?" he whispered, quietly, but angrily. "How could you fathom the pains of one who has failed so badly he has disgraced himself beyond redemption?"

"You're right, I don't understand!" said Goombario. "I don't understand how you can still be moping about something that happened years ago instead of doing your best! While you sit around and feel sorry for yourself, others are suffering! How can you endure that?"

"And what would you have me do?" said Koopahad, his voice rising. "Even if I were still a Knight, Doormama has defeated all those who dare to oppose him! What is the use?"

"You won't know until you try!" shouted Goombario. "Maybe you'll succeed, maybe you won't! But if you just sit around and think about how you messed up, you'll never know what you can do!"

Koopahad glared at him—Goombario noticed his hands were shaking. "Leave. Now."

Goombario snorted. "Fine. I don't need help from someone like you anyway. I'll find a way to enter Doormama's castle and beat him up myself if I have to! And if I don't, at least I tried!" Picking up Goom, he stomped out of the house.

Leaving the owner of the despair-laden voice, for once, unable to dwell on his misery…

* * *

Whew, that was a long one! Tell me what you think in your reviews—how was the fight scene? Was the drama too heavy? The next chapter should be more fun, so look forward to it!


	9. Chapter 1 Part 3

Disclaimer: Paper Mario and all its characters belong to Nintendo and Intellignet Systems, and I own all original characters.

In case anyone who's read this story hasn't figured it out, most of the characters' names in this chapter come from classic Medieval figures—Koopahad is Galahad, Koopdred is Mordred, Koopevere is Guinevere, you get the drift. Doormama, however, takes his name and initial appearance from the Marvel Comics supervillain, Dormamu. As you'll see in this chapter though, his personality is all his own.

* * *

Chapter 1 Part 3

"Uhhhhh…"

Goombario looked towards the bed as his charge slowly woke up. He walked over. "Feeling better Goom?"

Goom nodded slowly. "Yeah…um, two questions. First, where are we, and second, what's this stuff covering my eye?"

"We're back in Koopalot, and that stuff covering your eye is spam."

"….Spam?"

"Yeah, spam. Apparently these guys use spam to soothe black eyes instead of steak."

"….Okay." Taking the meat off, he looked around. "Goombario…where's Koopahad? You did talk to him, right? Where is he?"

Goombario looked down. "He's…not gonna help us. It's a long story, but that's the summary."

Goom jumped impatiently. "Well then, how are we supposed to enter that castle? He was the only guy that could help us, wasn't he?"

"Calm down, Goom," replied the older Goomba. "We'll find another way—but we should eat right now. Fortunately, this place is bed _and_ breakfast." He turned towards the Toad who ran the Inn. "Excuse me, what do you have to eat here?"

"Well, let's see," replied the female Toad, in a heavily-accented squawk. She opened up a menu. "We got spam eggs and sausage, spam eggs and bacon, spam bacon and spam, spam spam spam spam spam eggs bacon and spam, spam spam spam spam…."

But an enormous roar interrupted the Toad's reading, and both Goombas jumped and looked around.

"Goombario," said Goom in a trembling voice, "y-you wouldn't have ever heard a roar like that before, have you?"

Goombario slowly shook his head. "No. Never heard anything like that…."

The Toad paled. "It's Doormama! RUN! HIDE! SAVE THE SPAM! He's not getting MY spam again!" She ran behind the small counter and crouched down.

"Doormama?" Goom looked at Goombario, fear in his eyes. "I d-didn't k-know a w-wizard could make a s-sound like th-that."

"We'd better go out and see what's going on," said Goombario, running out the door, and followed (reluctantly) by Goom.

Outside, all the Koopas were running in a blind panic, looking for places to hide. The Koopas dressed in red robes were scrambling over themselves to get up in a nearby tree, the cheeky gate-guard was running and screaming uncomprehendingly, his snarky grin gone, and the importantly dressed Koopa was attempting (and failing) to make himself heard, shouting something about dignity and order in blind panicking. Goombario looked around at the carnage until a loud THUD turned his attention to the source of the villagers' terror.

Standing over them, over fifty feet tall, was an enormous monster the likes of which Goombario had never seen. It seemed to resemble an enormous chameleon, and it shone with a shining neon assortment of red, pink, and orange stripes all over its body. It wore a silly grin, with its large tongue hanging out, but its grin revealed razor sharp teeth that spoke of its danger.

"Alrighty squares, it's time to chill! I like me a good panic, but enough's enough!" Goombario's attention was drawn to a figure that descended from the monster's back. The figure was dressed in a robe that was lined with a wild pattern of green and orange checker squares (to those from the human world reading this tale, an apt comparison would have been a zoot suit). It would have been comically ridiculous but for the figure's head. It appeared to be the head of a Dogan, a brown dog-looking sort of creature, but it was completely enveloped in a blazing flame, a flame that only revealed two gleaming yellow eyes.

The figure scowled as the Koopas, contrary to his order, continued to run around in a panic. In a voice that seemed to shake the earth, he shouted, "YOU HEAR ME SQUARES? JUST GO RIGHT ON AHEAD LIKE YOU'RE DOIN' IF YOU WANNA BE FUNKALICOUS CHOW FOR MY PET!"

All at once the clamor and panic stopped. The Koopas stood still, and stared at the figure in wild terror.

The figure smirked. "That's better. Didn't wanna have to feed any of you to Lizzie—she blows chunks when she eats squares. Don't you Lizzie?" he asked, turning to his monster and speaking as though he were talking to a puppy. The beast roared in response and stamped its foot on the ground. "Ah, right, introductions. Squaresville, Lizzie. Lizzie, Squaresville. Thought I'd conjure up a new funky pet—y'know, just to shake things up a bit, ya dig?"

"Doormama."

The figure turned, and his smirk widened as he saw the King approach him, closely accompanied by Rust (who wore her usual bored expression) and not so closely accompanied by Kooplin. "Well, well, well, King Square in the flesh. Good to know ya got the picture now Kingny—no more lame-o ideas 'bout sendin' knights to storm my castle. We all know how that worked out, right?" He laughed raucously—and stopped. His smirk disappeared, replaced by an angry frown. "Squares—I just made a joke." At his remark, the Koopas broke into nervous and scattered laughter that held no real joy. It seemed to placate Doormama though, as he turned back to the King.

The King looked at the wizard evenly, showing no trace of fear, or any other emotion. "What do you desire this time Doormama?"

"Well, that's a good question, Kingy, and there's a story behind it. See, I wake up one morning, and start countin' all the loot you squares pay in tribute for my groovitude. Now, usually, that makes me mondo outrageously happy, but not anymore. Know why, Kingy?"

"I cannot fathom why."

"See, I'm all alone when doin' it. You see the problem? A powerful, funkaliciously handsome wizard like me, and I don't have no one to admire me. Makes anything else seem kinda pointless. You see where I'm goin' with this, Kingy?"

"Not as such, no," replied the King, though his trembling hands suggested otherwise.

"I think it's high time I settled down. Found a babe, y'know? A babe who I can hang out with, who can tell me how groovy I am, the works. Now, Koopas ain't the prettiest creatures, but hey, when life gives you lemons, you make Funky Lemons, right?"

"It'd be a lot easier to understand you if you spoke English, freak," said Rust acidly.

"Still your tongue Koopita!" snapped the King, though his eyes showed a flash of approval. He bowed evenly towards the wizard. "Forgive my daughter, Doormama…she is young and foolish."

Doormama's gaze turned towards Rust as he absently responded, "No problem…no problem." The wizard's eyes gleamed at the Koopa, who merely looked right back at him as though he were nothing but a speck.

"Your request is a difficult one Doormama," continued the King, who had begun to shake, and hold a shamed look in his eyes. "However, if we gather all the Koopa women together, I am sure we could find one who would be willing to be your br—"

"No need, Kingy!" interrupted Doormama, who still held a now desirous look upon Rust. "I already know who my babe's gonna be!"

The King's eyes widened in horror. "You—you cannot mean…"

"That's right! Punk princess babe, you have the honor of being the great and groovy Doormama's squeeze!"

Rust continued looking at the wizard as though he'd said nothing. In her same apathetic tone, she said, "So if you take me, you'll leave Koopalot alone for now?"

"STILL YOUR TONGUE KOOPITA!" shouted the King, all composure gone. He threw himself at the wizard's feet. "Please—mighty Doormama, please, I beg you. My daughter—my daughter is all the family I have left! I will give you anything you want—but please, spare my daughter!"

"I'm touched," sneered Doormama, pretending to wipe his eye. "Seriously, I am. I'm sobbing my eyes out. On the inside of course, 'cause crying is Numero Uno in Square City." Suddenly his expression changed to an icy fury. "You seem to have forgotten how things work, King Square. I'm the most powerful and groovy cat in all of Shellshire, so that means anything I want becomes MINE. I suggest you forget your Dragsville and get out of my way—unless you'd like Lizzie to make a meal out of Squaresville?"

"That's enough!"

Doormama's face snapped upward. "Huh?" Standing across from him, a defiant glare in his eye was Goombario, Hammer at the ready. He looked contemptuously at the King. "What is this supposed to be? Your pet?"

"Listen up clown," growled Goombario. "I happen to be a hero. And you should know what heroes do to guys like you." He held his Hammer threateningly. "Take off, or I'll fight you right here."

Doormama laughed. "Awww…isn't this precious? A little tyke who wants to be a hero. Man, you're on your way all right." He smirked. "Too bad you seemed to have forgotten my little friend. Koopas may give Lizzie indigestion, but she _loves_ her some Goombas." The beast roared and took an enormous step forward, a step that shook the ground around them. "Maybe the 'hero' should run home to Mommy, eh kid?"

Goombario gulped at the enormous beast before him, but shook off his fear, and held the Hammer up high…

THWAK!

A shell sped into the Goomba, knocking him over to the side. Groaning, Goombario looked up.

"That's enough," said Rust, standing where Goombario was, perfectly calm. "You want me, bozo? Then go ahead and have me. Just leave everyone else alone."

Doormama laughed. "Ooooh, you're feisty! I likes him feisty, yes I do! Alrighty then, kid, looks like you're spared a looksie at Lizzie's digestion system." The wizard grabbed Rust by the hand, who still stood looking at him with utterly calm contempt. "We got lots to do, Babe! I gotta introduce you to the castle, show you my funkalicious abs…" There was an enormous flash, and suddenly…

Everything was gone.

Doormama, the beast…

And Rust.

"No." The King slumped forward, tears in his eyes. "_No_."

"Darn it." Goombario looked at the spot where Rust stood, in angry helplessness. "If she hadn't stopped me…"

Goom leapt forward. Fear was on every inch of his face. "Goombario…maybe we should stop." Goombario looked at him in disbelief. "That wizard guy…he's too much for us! C'mon, we can't even get into the castle, so there's nothing we can do. Besides…" He looked down, and uttered quietly, "I…I don't wanna see you get hurt anymore."

Goombario looked at the boy. He sighed deeply. _Did Mario ever feel this kind of despair? Did things ever look so bad that there didn't seem anyway to succeed? _His face hardened. _Of course…he must have. How else would he get so strong? If he gave up every time things look bad, he—he wouldn't be a hero!_

"Goom." Goom looked up. "I don't care what I have to do. I'll find a way to stop Doormama…I won't let him do whatever he wants! I'll save Rust, and I'll kick that clown's butt so hard, he'll never sit down again! 'Cause…'cause I'm a hero! And a hero never gives up!"

"Well-said! Well-said indeed!"

Goombario jumped, and both Goombas turned around to observe the owner of that voice.

And their eyes widened.

A Koopa stood before them, but it was a Koopa clad in silver armor. It shone and glistened in the autumn sun, from the helmet, to the chestplate, to the shell armor. The fire in the eyes behind the visor was unlike anything Goombario had ever seen—but the pure white lance was unmistakable…

"_Koopahad?_"

The Koopa Knight held his lance up high, and bowed deeply. "Indeed! Sir Koopahad, at your service!"

Goom blinked. "Wait. You're Koopahd? The Gloomy Gus?"

"My name is not 'Gus', boy, but my heart was lost to imperceptible gloom. Until you came." Goombario blinked in surprise. "Your parting words—they pierced my despair-laden heart, and no matter what, I could not empty them from my mind. I thought of all the shameful years I spent in self-imposed exile, unwilling to continue—I thought of what my father would say to me if he beheld me in such a state. Then I beheld Doormama leaving his castle, heading towards Koopalot and…and I could live as I had no more. Alas, it appears I was too late in coming here."

"A little, yeah," replied Goombario. "He made off with Rus—with the Princess."

Koopahad's eyes flashed. "Then that jackanapes shall soon feel Nasir pierce his chest! He shall rue the day he made an enemy of Sir Koopahad!" He held his lance and pointed it at Goombario. "Sir Goombario…my allegiance is with you, now and forever! I shall assist you in ridding this scourge from our land!"

A wide grin broke out on Goombario's face, and he nodded fervently. "Then I'm glad to have ya!"

"Koopahad."

The three turned around and saw the King, who stared at the Knight as though he were a ghost. A look of shame entered Koopahad's eyes for a moment, but it quickly disappeared, and he bowed.

"My liege." The King looked away. "I-I realize my knighthood has been stripped—and rightfully so—but I cannot, in good conscience, allow Doormama to have his way with our people. Especially now. My apologies, but even if you order to the contrary, I shall leave with these two, and storm his foul castle."

The King looked up again, his expression unreadable.

Then he nodded.

"Go. Do what you must."

The Knight rose, and inclined his head in respect. Then he turned and held his lance forward. "Tally-ho! To the stronghold of Doormama!"

"W-wait up!"

The three travelers had set out to the Autumn Road at once, and though they marched quickly, the two Goombas couldn't match the frenzied run of Koopahad.

"Out of my way, brigand!" he shouted, as he instantly popped into his shell and slammed into a marauding Spiked Goomba, who fell back in stunned unconsciousness.

"Wh-what w-was th-that you said," panted Goom, "about Koopas being laid back?"

Goombario shrugged. "I told you there were exceptions."

"Do we even know if he's charging the right way?"

"Well, this is the exact same road we took…" Suddenly the Goomba stopped. Goom skidded to a halt, when he saw Goombario stop and look at the ground.

"Hey Goombario!" he shouted tiredly. "If w-we take a br-break, we'll lose Sir Nutsalot!"

Goombario ignored the boy; instead, he looked at the ground in incomprehension. "Weird," he muttered.

Goom gave a frustrated sigh. "Mind filling me in on what's so weird?"

"Look at the ground." Goom did so. After a few minutes, he looked back up at Goombario in annoyance.

"I give up. What am I supposed to see? There's nothing there!"

"Exactly." Goom raised his eyebrows in question, and Goombario finally turned to him. "There's nothing here. The ground is perfectly normal."

"Soooooo?"

"Don't you get it? Doormama had a gigantic chameleon monster with him, and this is the only way back to the castle. Something that big should leave footprints, shouldn't it?"

If he had possessed arms, Goom would have slapped his face in exasperation. "Goombario, he's an all-powerful wizard guy! He probably just used some teleporting magic to get to the castle!"

"Maybe," mused Goombario. "But now that I think about it—"

"Sir Goombario! Goom!" Both jumped as Koopahad came running back to the pair impatiently. "We have no time to waste! Who knows what fiendish devices that vile scoundrel has in mind for Lady Koopita?"

"We're coming, Koopahad!" replied Goom. "Goombario just had to study the ground for a bit."

"There will be plenty of time for earth-studies later!" snapped the Knight. "Come, let us press onward!"

"Okay, okay," said Goombario. The three continued their run on the path, making quick work of the few Goomba and Koopa thugs who had the nerve to oppose them, until finally, they saw the same ominous structure in the distance.

"Doormama's castle," proclaimed Koopahad, a fierce look on his face. "Sir Goombario, I require your assistance in reaching that switch."

"Okay," replied Goombario. "What do ya want me to do?"

"I must have the proper momentum to activate the switch," said the Knight. "Take that Hammer and swing it at me." He popped into his shell.

Goombario blinked. "Um…okay." Pairing the Hammer up with the shell like a croquet mallet, the Goomba squinted, attempting to gauge the distance, and swung. The shell went flying across the pit…

"It's too far across!" shouted Goom. "He won't hit anything!" But at Goom's shout, the shell launched something forward, which flew straight and true, and pierced the blue switch. As the shell swung back across, a bridge suddenly appeared and unfolded itself just like the last one the Goombas had seen.

Koopahad popped out and dusted himself off, then walked over and picked up his lance. "Come! The path opens up before us." He ran off again, and Goombario, quickly followed, as did Goom, after staring, wide-eyed at the Koopa's feat, and uttering one word:

"Cooooooool."

It was a short walk the rest of the way, and soon the odd trio of travelers came to their destination. The building was made of solid grey brick and looked old, but very stable, a far cry from the "fortress" of the Black Ducks. A giant drawbridge greeted them as the walked up to the castle, which led right up to an enormous wooden door, left wide open.

"He didn't even close the door," noted Goom. "Not too bright for an all-powerful wizard."

"Either that, or he's not afraid of any attackers," Goombario suggested. "Remember what the King said about all those Knights who tried to storm this place? We'd better be careful—no telling what this guy can do."

"Enough talk," declared Koopahad. "Let us enter this den of evil." The three walked through the door.

The castle appeared even drearier inside with black bricks composing the floor, and nothing but walls and ceiling all around them. That was not what drew their attention, however. What the travelers focused on was a flying shell that went shooting at them.

"Whoa!" The party each narrowly dodged the shell, which quickly revealed a pair of white feathery wings, and a Koopa Troopa, scowling at them.

"A Paratroopa," growled Koopahad. "So—these vandals have joined forces with the wizard."

"I got him!" cried Goom, who jumped up and flew into the Paratroopa headfirst. The Koopa fell to the ground, on its back, where a slam from Koopahad's shell knocked it unconscious.

"Nice," remarked Goombario. "But save some for me next time, okay guys?"

Koopahad laughed. "Don't worry comrade. There are certain to be more villains to battle. More importantly, observe this." The Knight held up a small silver key. "It appears this one was guarding a treasure."

Goombario nodded. "Where there's a key, there's a lock—and I see one right over there." It was a very short walk to the small door on the other side of the room, and with the insertion of a key, the lock fell off and the door opened. They entered the next room, which held another Paratroopa, this one accompanied by a Goomba and a Spiked Goomba. The Goomba charged Goombario, only to fall prey to a vicious Headbonk, and the Spiked Goomba was knocked into the wall by Koopahad's spinning shell. Unfortunately, as the Knight was getting out, the Paratroopa slammed into him, flipping him on his backside. It prepared to charge again, only to feel a couple of Headbonks assail it and lose consciousness.

"You okay?" Goom asked, as they helped the Knight get up again.

Koopahad nodded. "The blagard merely caught me by surprise." He looked around the room, and his eyes fell on a switch, the only object in the room aside from the unconscious enemies, and a doorway that stood too high for them to reach. "Hmm…it seems our only option is to smash this switch."

Goombario nodded. "Stand back." He swung the Hammer and smacked the switch, which disappeared.

And, incidentally, so did the floor.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

Their screaming came to a stop as they plummeted to a floor with an OOF! There seemed to be nothing in the small room surrounded by bars but a large mirror that appeared to have been smashed into pieces. Attached to the wall around them was a sign. It read:

_DFCFSDETHATSTDDNHAHSHH._

_Or:_

_Doormama's Funkalicious Cell For Squares Dumb Enough To Hit Anything They See That Definitely Does Not Have A Hidden Stairway, Ha Ha!_

The three looked at each other.

"He's definitely got no talent with acronyms," observed Goombario drily. Koopahad growled.

"Blast that treacherous rogue! He has us trapped!" He started running wildly around the cell. "Search this prison! There must be a way out!"

Goombario looked around—and with a sigh, held out a small foot, which tripped the Koopa and made him fall over on his stomach. He then pointed outside the right side of the cell, and all eyes turned towards another blue switch. "There's our way out."

"Yeah…but how do we hit it?" asked Goom. "Koopahad can't fit through those bars."

"No…" Goombario lowered his head in thought for a moment, and then looked up. "Koopahad, can you throw your lance and hit the switch? These bars look thin enough to let it through at least."

"Well…I can," replied Koopahad, who, for some reason, sounded sheepish, "but not outside my shell." The Goombas looked at him in confusion. "You see…I must confess, I cannot hit anything with Nasir when I look. I must be in my shell, at high speed. It is the only way I have ever hit anything from afar."

"That's…weird," said Goombario. "Well…get in, and I'll launch you. When I say 'Now' throw the lance, okay?" The Knight nodded, and went into his shell. Goombario swung the Hammer and as the shell was about to slam into the bars, shouted, "Now!" and the lance was thrown straight through the bars and into the switch. It disappeared, and with a rumbling sound, the bars around them slowly sunk into the ground. "Good work!"

Koopahad shook his head to clear the dizziness caused by the impact, and ran over to retrieve his weapon. "Let us continue! That wretch will not deceive us again!"

The party made their way up through the castle via the stairs near their cell. Koopas and Paratroopas swarmed them, but only succeeded in being minor obstacles along the way up the long and winding staircase.

"Whew…I'm beat," panted Goom, as they seemingly reached the top. "Some all-powerful wizard…can't even magic up an elevator."

"Hey guys, over there," said Goombario. Near a locked door was a small path that seemed to go into the wall. On an instinct, Goombario walked up, and put his foot up to the wall—which went right through. "Secret passage…nice." The three marched through the small, dark passage, and came to a large gap. On the other side was a small platform with another key resting on it. "Koopahad, you're up."

The Knight nodded, and Goombario swung his shell forward, which somehow grabbed the key and came sailing back. "Doubtless used for the door we just saw," he observed. The three went back through the passage and unlocked the door, quickly going through.

Where there was no floor.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

OOOMPHH!

The three again fell atop each other on the floor, and, as they looked up, saw the smashed remains of what used to be a walkway. Goombario scowled. "I'm REALLY starting to hate this guy."

Goom pointed forward. "Look! Another sign!" Indeed it was, and it sat alongside two blue switches, all alongside a large staircase. The three walked forward and read the sign.

_For the squares who, by some microscopic chance, managed to get out of my last trap, you won't find it so easy to get out of THIS groovy one! Both of these funkalicious switches have to be hit TOGETHER to get out of here. Bet you can't do that! You'd have to have something to throw to do that!_

Goombario looked at the two switches. One was close to the staircase, while the other sat a little farther apart, in a more upward space. He chuckled at the last sentence. "It seems he really is as stupid as he seems." He turned to Koopahad. "You know what to do?"

The Koopa nodded. "Indeed. I shall launch Nasir at your signal." The two moved a fair distance away, and he popped into his shell, as Goombario swung him across the room. Just as he was halfway across, he sent the lance flying, which somehow curved upwards and hit the second switch at the exact same time.

VOOOOOOOMMMM!

All three jumped as suddenly, the staircase shook, and, to their collective shock, it suddenly began moving across the room. The party had just enough time to leap out of the way as the moving staircase smashed through the wall (and several more by the sounds it made) until it finally stopped.

"What the heck…was THAT?" exclaimed Goom. Goombario jumped, as he suddenly remembered part of Doormama's last sign.

"The hidden staircase! Remember the room that had that switch trap? It had a door that we couldn't reach!"

"In other words, we have found our means of going further!" declared Koopahad. "Come, let us continue!"

Making their way through the smashed remains of the rooms ahead of them (and ignoring the dazed Goombas and Koopas strewn about) the three indeed found themselves back in the room with the switch trap, the moved staircase now allowing them entry to the door. As the three entered…they heard clapping.

Slow, deliberate, clapping.

"Well, well, well," a voice boomed. "If it isn't the twerp who likes to play hero…and a knight? Guess Kingy never learns."

"Doormama!" Koopahad held Nasir up and waved it threateningly. "I, Sir Koopahad, have come to reclaim Lady Koopita and to smite you for your misdeeds! Show yourself and fight, if you are not a coward!"

"Oooooh…I'm totally scared," laughed the voice. "Seriously, I'm shaking in my boots at your approaching presence, square. I guess I'll have to teach you the same lesson I taught all the others…" Suddenly, there was a large flash. The three winced and rubbed their eyes.

The first thing Goombario saw was…

"Mario?"

It was Mario. Goombario looked around—the others seemed to have vanished. He looked at Mario and rubbed his eyes in disbelief. "Mario—wh-what are you doing—"

He jumped aside as Mario jumped forward and landed on the space where he would have been. "Mario! What are you doing?" Mario did not answer; he looked at Goombario with scornful, mocking eyes. "Mario…why?" The Goomba was so distraught that he did not even try to dodge his next attack…

The first thing Goom saw was…

"Goombario?"

It was Goombario.

And he was unconscious.

Goom's heart leapt into his throat. "NO! Goombario!" Suddenly surronding him were the demonic, leering faces of Doormama and the Black Ducks as they swarmed over the hurt Goomba. "Get away from him!" Goom jumped at them but he was swatted aside like a bug.

A weak, helpless bug…unable to help Goombario…

The first thing Koopahad saw was…

"L-Lady Koopita?"

It was Lady Koopita. She held a cup of Koopa Tea.

Tea that he recognized…

"NO!" Koopahad tried to shout, to move, to do anything to warn her…

But he could not move…could not speak…

Lady Koopita drank the tea…and immediately, her face turned pale…

He had failed…he had failed again…

_He's too much for me_, Goombario thought in misery. _What was I thinking…trying to match him? I'm no hero…_

But from somewhere, another voice came—a smaller, but stronger voice.

_**This is not Truth. You know this is not Truth.**_

_I'm worthless compared to Mario…I'm nothing…_

_**Mario trusts and supports you. That is Truth. This is not Truth.**_

…_Not…Truth?_

_**It is a lie. You can become a hero. That is Truth. This is a lie.**_

_A…lie?_

_**Look to the Hammer you hold.**_

Clarity returned to the Goomba's mind. _That's right…Mario gave me his Hammer. He…he knew I could do it. This...this THING, isn't Mario!_

And suddenly, a rainbow-colored light enveloped the entire room. The Mario demon disappeared. Goombario looked towards the others, who were in deep suffering…

"Guys!" he shouted. "Wake up! Whatever you're seeing…it isn't real! It's all fake! It's not the truth!"

Goombario's voice pierced the illusions of Goom and Koopahad. The monsters tormenting Goombario disappeared, and the dying Lady Koopita shimmered away. Both looked at Goombario, their thoughts returning…

"Wh-what happened?" asked Goom. "How…how did he do that to us?"

"It…it was some devilish wizardry," replied Koopahad dizzily. "Doubtless…the same that drove the Knights to their cruel fate." He looked at Goombario. "Sir Goombario…how did you break his spell?"

"I…don't know," responded Goombario. "I heard…a voice. From…" He suddenly grabbed the item bag and brought forth the Compass Gem. "Somehow…this crushed the illusion."

"Hey, look!" Goom pointed at a small chest that had suddenly appeared with the coming of the Gem's rainbow lights. He rushed over and examined the chest. "There's some kind of note on here…"

"Let me see it." Goombario took the note and read aloud. "_Legendary Hero, I, Goombrian do keep this treasure hidden safely, so that only you may find it. I saw, in the future, one of evil heart twisting the Star Stone of Truth to wicked ways. With this treasure, you can dispel the evil-hearted one's power._" He blinked. "So…the Star Stone was what gave him his powers." He opened the chest, and all three looked inside…

Withing sat a mirror.

A plain, ordinary looking mirror.

The three looked at each other.

"…Perhaps…this is an example of Lord Goombrian's legendary sense of humor?" Koopahad suggested weakly.

Goom gave an indignant growl. "He goes to all this trouble to hide a MIRROR? That's not comedy, that's senility!"

"Maybe…" mused Goombario, who took the mirror. "I'll keep it with us anyway."

"Suit yourself," replied Koopahad. "Now, up these stairs! We must settle with Doormama once and for all!"

It was a long, but easy way up the top of the stairs. No more enemies impeded their way, and only a locked door (unlocked by a key sitting on top of a nearby brick block) stood in their way.

The three stood in a large and open room. Unlike the rest of the castle, it was painted a bright and shiny assortmant of neon pink, red, and orange that blinded the eye. A pair of decently sized disco balls hung at the very top and shone around an enormous stack of gold, jewels, coins…and spam.

"So." The air shimmered in front of the party, and the fiery-headed Dogan wizard faded into existence. "Y-you're p-pretty good to—to get this far, eh squares? No—no one's ever—ever gotten past that room before." Despite his confident smirk, his voice shook with a nervousness that had never been present before.

Koopahad stepped forward. "Villain!" he shouted. "Return all that you have stolen, including Lady Koopita, and you shall be spared our wrath!"

"Heh heh heh…" laughed Doormama sinisterly…at least, that seemed the intention. It came out as more of a weak chuckle. "N-not hip, square—coming—coming into my place and giving me orders…that's, that's lame." He shook himself up. "Well…you squares are in for it now! Your—your square minds can't possibly fathom the funkalicious power I hold! Luckily, I'm feeling merciful, so—so you'd better go home, before I get—get serious. You w-wouldn't like it when I'm…serious."

Something caught Goombario's eye—it was the mirror he had forgotten to put in the bag. Looking in the mirror on instinct, he saw Doormama's reflection.

He stared at the mirror, eyes widening—and he remembered the enormous beast that left no footprints

And he understood.

Goombario stepped forward, a smirk on his face. "Well? What's wrong Doormama? Why don't you use your 'funkalicious' power and destroy us? Nothing holding you back, right?"

"Sh-shut up," stuttered Doormama, who now looked absolutely frightened.

"It should be easy, shouldn't it? Summon your 'Lizzie' so she can eat us. You know—the giant chameleon that doesn't leave any footprints?" His smirk grew. "That's right Doormama—I know. You're nothing but a fake."

"What?" Goom looked at Goombario. "What are you talking about?"

"He's—he's delirious from fear!" shouted Doormama in terror. "Doesn't—doesn't know what he's talking about!"

"Doormama is a fake," repeated Goombario. "All he can do is make illusions—that's not even what he really looks like. That's his only power—the power the Star Stone gave him. The Star Stone of Truth—which has power over what appears to be. Isn't that right?"

"SILENCE!" yelped Doormama. "I, I am the groovelicous Doormama! Most powerful—most powerful…"

"You're nothing," said Goombario. "You've been using the Star Stone's power to scare Koopalot into giving you whatever you want. You don't have any super powerful magic—all you need is to make people think you do. If anyone's brave enough to come after you, you just conjure up an illusion of their worst fears." He held up the mirror. "And if you guys don't believe me, look in the mirror!" Goom and Koopahad did so, and their eyes widened.

The wizard's reflection…was an average-looking Dogan, shaking uncontrollably in tattered red robes.

"That's why Goombrian hid this mirror—and that's why you smashed the mirror that was in this castle," continued Goombario. "Mirrors reveal the true reflection of something. You can create illusions, but you can't alter what already is—which is why there weren't any footprints from your monster, not even in the village."

Koopahad's fist shook in anger. "Am I to understand," he said, in a voice filled with growing rage, "that we have been living in fear of—of a charlatan and his parlor tricks?"

"SO WHAT?" shouted Doormama, which made the three jump. "So WHAT if I don't have any other powers? This is ALL I need to make me the top cat in this dump! I've got a groovy racket going on, and you CHUMPS ain't gonna wreck it!" There was a giant flash, suddenly—

"He's gone!" shouted Goom. Immediately after his exclamation however, he fell over, as though he had been assailed.

"Goom!" Goombario ran to him; fortunately, the boy was more stunned than anything. "What the—"

"_Heh heh heh,"_ a voice chuckled—a voice that came from nowhere. _"I ain't gone, squares—but you ain't gonna see me no more! Can't fight what ya can't see after all!"_

"Blast—where are you, coward?" shouted Koopahad. "Come out and face my lance!" No sooner had he said this, then he kneeled over in pain as an invisible punch landed on his stomach.

"_Ow—you and that stupid armor. No matter; you can't see where I am, which means you can't guard from—WHOAH!"_ There was a sound of a body barely dodging as Goombario swung his Hammer where the voice came from. _"Not bad, but—AIIEEE!"_ Goom had sailed forth head-first at the voice's direction. _"Okay, you wanna play like that? No more talking!"_ And the voice fell silent as another blow landed on Goom and on Goombario as he rushed to his side.

_Darn it…we can't beat him like this,_ Goombario thought, as he winced in pain. He took out the mirror, and sure enough, it showed the wizard moving forth at a surprising speed as he went towards Koopahad. Goombario swung the Hammer, but his foe jumped and he barely missed hitting the Knight. Seeing the invisible wizard running towards him, Goombario turned his back to protect the mirror, and received a punch to his backside for his trouble. _There has to be a way…_ The Goomba's eyes moved up towards the ceiling—and the disco balls…

"Koopahad." The Koopa's head moved towards Goombario. "I have an idea. Aim your lance at that ball, and when Goom says so, throw your lance at it." Koopahad blinked in confusion, but he nodded. Goombario ran towards Goom and whispered something in private to the boy, and passed him the mirror. Goom nodded, and the older Goomba stepped forward and swung his Hammer around the air. "Hey, Doormama! If you fought half as good as you hid, we'd REALLY be in trouble!"

There was a growl, and the sound of running feet as something invisible moved towards the defiant Goomba…

"NOW!" shouted Goom. Goombario jumped out of the way.

"_Huh? How'd you—"_ The wizard's voice was cut off as he heard something snap above him and he looked up, seeing an approaching shadow. _"OH CRUUUUDDDDD!"_ There was the sound of scattering feet and a THUD! The disco ball lay on the floor, shattered into pieces, and Doormama shimmered into existence, stumbling about in a cranium-pained daze.

"Now's our chance!" shouted Goombario. He jumped forth and brought his Hammer down on the wizard's head. Doormama flew backwards and was sent sailing back by a spinning shell, right into the wall. As he groaned and tried to prop himself up, he fell down again as a Headbonk from Goom landed on his noggin.

"Let's finish this!" Goombario charged forward, but the wizard moved his hand and there was another flash. As he blinked rapidly, he was sent to the floor by a punch.

"_You—you little PUNK!"_ An invisible voice gasped in pain and anger, and Goombario felt himself assailed by a flurry of tiny punches. _"Everything was groovelicious until YOU showed up! I am NOT about to go back to being a loser apprentice because of some wanna-be hero!"_

SMACK!

THUD!

Goombario looked up, wincing.

The first thing he saw was Koopahad, popping out of his shell, a determined glare on his face, holding Nasir in one hand, and the mirror in the other.

The second was a Dogan sized-imprint on the wall the wizard had already crashed into—and slowly, something shimmered into existence.

Not a fiery-headed sorcerer—but a plain, shabbily dressed Dogan.

"No—no more," he gasped in pain. "No more…"

Koopahad extended his hand towards the fallen Goomba. "Are you alright, comrade?"

Goombario grimaced, but then smiled as he took the Koopa's hand. "I'll live—thanks to you."

"And now, for our bad guy," announced Goom. Koopahad nodded and pointed Nasir at the fallen Dogan.

"C-come on man, I give," simpered Doormama. "I-I didn't mean for—for it to go this far. I-I came here to become a wizard, 'cause wizards are groovy, and catch babes' attention, right? But it was all boring stuff, dumb chores—and, and then one day, I found this." He took out something from his pocket.

A small star-shaped stone made of yellow crystal.

Koopahad glared murderously at the fallen rogue and snatched the Stone from his hands. "I am greatly tempted vagabound," he snarled quietly, "to smite you where you stand. But I would not defile Nasir with such filth. Now—as I said, you will return _everything_ you have stolen, begininig with Lady Koopita."

"You mean the punk princess babe?" Doormama shuddered. "Man, you're welcome to her. You know, I thought she'd be what I wanted in a babe, but she didn't say nothin' at all to me; she just kept staring at me…with those eyes. Those soulless eyes…" Koopahad moved his lance, and Doormama dashed to the door on the other side. "Right. Shuting up." He opened the door and the three followed him in.

Standing in the unremarkable room, not even bound, was Rust. As Koopahad entered, her eyes widened.

"…Koopahad?" she asked, in an unbelieving whisper. The Knight bowed.

"At your service, my lady." He rose, and his face became red and uncomfortable. "I…I realize I have no right to ask this—but I would humbly request your forgiveness of my disgraceful behavior these past years…and, if possible, another chance to win your favor." His face became even redder. "Of course, if such is too much to ask—"

"Koopahad." The Koopa had moved forward, a small smile growing, full of more emotion than the Goombas had ever seen from her.

"Yes, my lady?"

"Shut up." And with that, she grabbed the astounded Knight and kissed him forcefully. Koopahad's eyes blinked in rapid terror, but suddenly closed, and he leaned in to return the kiss.

"EWWWWWWW!" Both Koopas separated at the sound. Goom was staring at them with a disgusted look on his face. "That's SOOOOO gross! Why'd you have to ruin the adventure?"

Goombario laughed, and so did Koopahad. Even Rust chuckled, as she turned her eyes on Goombario.

"I thought I'd like you two when you first came here," she said conversationally. "But I never thought you'd do all this. I'd abandoned all hope of finding my idiot again—until you came." She bowed her head slightly. "Thank you. Thank you…for everything."

Goombario blushed. "Heh…it was nothing…"

"Nonsense!" replied Koopahad. "You have saved our entire kingdom! Moreover, you saved me, from the broken shell of a Koopa I once was." He walked over and held out the yellow Star Stone. "This…is rightfully yours."

Goombario hesitated. "You sure?" he asked. Both of the Koopas nodded, and so, with his heart trembling with excitement, Goombario took the first Star Stone.

And the Compass Gem shone a deep blue, knowing it had found one of its treasures…

_END OF CHAPTER!_

_And so, with the aid of his new friends, Goom and Sir Koopahad, Goombario defeated the evil wizard Doormama, restored peace to the kingdom of Koopalot, and claimed the Star Stone of Truth. A great victory to be sure._

_But this is only the beginning. Six more Star Stones lay hidden across the land, waiting to be discovered._

_Where are they? What challenges will the young hero face to find Goomiam's great treasures?_

_One thing is certain…Goombario's adventure has just begun…_

_

* * *

_

WHEW! Longest chapter yet!

To those who might think the drama is a little heavy in this chapter, don't worry—the interlude and the next chapter will be much more fun. We're talking the return of a certain facial hair challenged noble and the appearances of two old Paper Mario characters (one of whom a review asked for). So stay tuned!

And as always, review!


	10. Chapter 1 Interlude Part 1

Disclaimer: Paper Mario and all its characters belong to Nintendo and Intelligent Systems, but I own all original characters.

Sorry for the long wait—real life comes first after all. This will be a short chapter, but I hope to update the story regularly from now on.

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Chapter 1 Interlude Part 1

"Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh…"

There was no other sound inside the house except the worried frettings of a middle-aged Goomba woman, walking around in circles, and looking, for all the world, as though her world had come crashing down. Goompapa sighed, and stood up from his chair, where he had been reading the paper.

"Dear, if you keep up that worrying, you'll have a heart attack. And you know we're out of Life Shrooms…"

"I just can't help it!" exclaimed Goomama. "My little Goombario is out in the world all alone—what if he's hungry? What if he's hurt? What if he forgot to wear a sweater and came down with a cold?"

"Always a worrier, aren't you dear?" a soft voice chided gently, as two aged Goombas and a man walked into the house. Goomama stopped pacing and glared at the man, who shrunk back slightly.

"Why didn't you go instead?!" she exclaimed, running towards him. "Why didn't you at least go with him?! Don't you even care about anything that could happen to him?!" Mario winced and gulped nervously.

"Now, now," said Gooma. "Blaming Mario isn't going to bring our little Goomnut back any sooner."

"That's right," agreed Goompa. "Besides—Goombario's a strong Goomba. This is a rare opportunity for him, and I don't blame him for seizing it." He scowled. "I only wish I didn't have this blasted lower back pain, or I'd be out there with him."

Gooma chuckled. "That's just what we need to help a boy—a boy in an old man's body."

Goomama sighed helplessly. "I—I just want him to come home safe. If he does—I'd squeeze him and hold him and never let him go."

"I think he'd rather go on another dangerous quest," remarked Goompapa, with a smirk that quickly turned into a cough at his wife's glare.

"HELLLLOOOOOOO?!"

Everyone in the house jumped at the sound of a voice, quickly followed by the entrance of a Goomba. The Goomba was dressed in a suit and tie, with a miner's helmet adorning her head, and a long ponytail of blond hair coming out from the helmet. At the sight of Mario, the Goomba jumped and ran over to him.

"MARIO! Ohmigosh, ohmigosh, it's been, like, FOREVER!" Mario's eyes widened in recognition, and he suddenly smiled, opening his mouth in greeting. "Man, you have NO idea how much I've wanted to see you! I get on the boat to Toad Town, and it takes me, like, fifteen minutes to find your house, only to find you're totally not there! Then I run all the way here—and oh man, it's AWESOME to see you again!"

"Is she a friend of yours Mario?" inquired Goombaria, who had just entered and wore an expression of tiring dizziness—evidently she'd been talking to the newcomer for a while.

The Goomba turned around. "Oh sorry, that was totally rude of me. My name's Goombella, and I'm an archaeology assistant to Professor Frankly. Yeah, Mario and me go way back—we went on a quest to find a legendary treasure, which was TOTALLY nuts—

"Frankly?" Goompa interrupted. "I haven't seen him in years. How's the old crackpot doing?"

"Oh, he's fine," replied Goombella, not seeming to mind the interruption at all. "In fact, it's kinda 'cause of him that I came to see Mario, and—hey, what's going on? Why aren't you back in Toad Town? Luigi said you were only heading over to Goomba Village for dinner."

Mario sighed, and began opening his mouth…

-------

One fade to black later…

"Wow," said Goombella in response to the events of the previous day. "Just—wow. Looks like you can never avoid adventure, huh Mario?" Suddenly she jumped. "Wait—did you say he was going to Goomiam? THAT Goomiam?"

"That's right," replied Goompa. "I'm surprised you know about it missy—the legend's been around since my Great-Goompa's time."

"I know about it cause THAT'S what I wanted to show Mario!" Taking off her pack, she zipped it open and rummaged through it. "Let's see—heart-shaped stone, weird screw ball…thing…'Ye olde teaching scroll for ye olde Great Aether'—what the heck—ah, here it is!" She pulled out an object from the pack and handed it to Mario. "Take a look."

Mario stared at it, as did the other Goombas. It was a strange, grey, almost metallic looking crystal that held an odd, dull shimmer. Words were written on it—indecipherable words.

Predicting their questions, Goombella said, "Those words are written in an ancient language I've never seen before—not even the Professor's ever seen the language before. He was freaking out, all locked up in his room for three days, going through all his books to find something—eventually, I had to have Zess T make something for him and force it down his throat. But eventually, he found the language in some moldy old book that seemed to mention that Goomiam place like it was fact." She cleared her throat, and said, from complete recitation, "To useth the all-seeing crystal-eye, insert into ye olde power machine and lookae into ye olde lens."

"Huh." Goompapa blinked. "I wonder what that means."

Goombella shrugged. "Sounds to me like that fancy-pants old style of talking. Doesn't even make sense—'ye olde' translates to 'your old.' What the heck does that even mean? 'I have an old Mushroom?' That just sounds stup-" She stopped, noticing that everyone else was staring at her, and her cheeks reddened with embarrassment. "Oh…you meant the message. Right…um, well color me clueless…"

BOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!

The entire house shook, and all inside shook and fell to the ground. The very earth itself seemed to have come alive in an enormous roar…

And suddenly, all was quiet again.

"What the heck…was THAT?" groaned Goombella, as she and Mario rose first. Slowly, the Goomba family followed suit.

Goompa grunted in pain as he attempted to steady his shaking body with his cane. "It sounded…like that one time. Y'know…when me and Goombario were walking and found Goom."

"Does that mean…there's ANOTHER one of those freaky ships?" Goombaria's eyes widened in horror. "You---you think we're being invaded?"

Mario pointed to Goombella and opened his mouth. The Goomba nodded. "Yeah…we'd better go check it out. You should all probably wait here." The two dashed out before anyone could argue and Goombella quickly looked around. "Right…sounds like it came from the east." Mario nodded and they quickly set out for Goomba Road.

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On setting foot on the road, the first thing the two spotted was an enormous wreck. It appeared to be a small sailboat made of metallic green bricks, and portholes on the side. On seeing movement, Mario grabbed Goombella and dashed behind a tree. Two forms were crawling from the wreckage.

"Good." One grunted in annoyance. "This is good. This is great. It's not enough we've lost the power crystal for the security device. No, now Lady Leviagoom will seriously wreck us for not showing up at the appointed time. All because we had to CRASH." The figures appeared to be Goombas, but they wore a strange kind of armor that covered them from head to face. "I TOLD you that meteors always have the rightaway, but did you listen? NOOOOOO."

"Hey, it wasn't my fault!" snapped the second one. "You were the one who insisted we take the 'shortcut' through BeanBean Belt. I wanted to take the Syrup Way, but no, you're all 'hey, this way's a shortcut, let's go that way.'"

"Are you saying this is MY fault?!" shouted the first Goomba.

"At least I ain't saying you're fat!" retorted the second. "Which, coincidentally, YOU ARE!"

"YEAH?! Well at least I don't collect Pretty Princess Zelda dolls and crud like that!"

The second gasped. "YOU TAKE THAT BACK! ZELDA DESERVES YOUR RESPECT!!"

"RESPECT THIS!!!"

And the first Goomba assaulted the second with a head butt, which he quickly returned. Soon the two were immersed in a thick cloud of smoke. A few minutes later, the smoke cleared, and two unconscious Goombas lay across from each other.

"…Ooooookaaaaay." Goombella marched over to the ship. "Well…at least these guys won't be causing us any trouble." The Goomba walked over to the small open door that the two had crawled from—and gasped. "Mario…you've gotta see this."

Mario walked over to his companion and his mouth fell open in surprise as well. The inside of the strange ship was made of crystal—metallic looking crystal. The way they shone around the various strange machines (which also appeared to be made of crystal) made the whole place look dull, lifeless, and artificial.

Mario walked inside and looked around, noting all the strange, foreign looking machines that surrounded him. He stopped in front of one—a small, box-shaped machine. It held a strange apparatus that looked like metallic binoculars, and displayed a big red button on its front. Curiosity overtaking him, Mario pressed the button, and with a _HISSSSS_, the front slid open to reveal an empty space, with a strange engraving that appeared to be for storing something.

"Totally weird," Goombella remarked. "I've never seen high-tech doodads like this—not even with the X-Nauts."

Mario suddenly jumped and he turned towards Goombella with an excited look in his eyes. Goombella blinked, then her eyes widened. "You think…that weird crystal thing goes in here?" Mario nodded. "Well…those two did say something about a crystal—and a device." She took the crystal from out of her pack. "Guess it can't hurt to try."

Mario took the crystal and carefully inserted it into the device into the space. Suddenly, the front _HISSSSSSSED_ back over and the machine began humming. The lens-shaped apparatus moved over to the two and suddenly emitted a blinding light that swept over them—as though it were scanning.

"**Goombaness confirmed. Owner of Goombaness may use security device. Use optical display and move around as needed,**" a strange metallic voice boomed.

"Goombaness…meaning me?" inquired Goombella. "Huh. Guess I'll look." She pressed her eyes into the lens.

"WHOAH!"

Mario opened his mouth in inquiry. Goombella tore her eyes away from the sight. "Mario—I can see something through here! It's not part of the ship—I don't know where it is." She looked back into the lens.

-------

The room Goombella was seeing was made of crystal, like the ship, but it was far grander, and less metallic looking. The room appeared to be a part of a place, but it held an enormous colosseum-looking strucure, with seats that housed many Goombas—Goombas who were very fat and dressed in very fine robes. They were all looking down at the middle, were three Goombas stood, looking very nervous. Two of them were large Goombas who wore the same strange armor as the Goombas from the ship, but the other was a small Goomba dressed in an extravagant green-furred robe, and had a comically long and thin mustache that swept the ground. They were looking at something, but Goombella could not turn the device anymore—and so she could not see where the deep, booming voice that suddenly belted forth, came from.

"I desire many thing Goomfrey," it announced. "I desire to know where the Compass Gem's current location is. I also desire to know why it is not currently here, why you have not retrieved it—and why you, and these two soldiers, were found at the bottom of a ditch, your ship destroyed, and clutching a pebble wrapped in cloth."

"Y-your M-Majesty, I can explain!" blustered the small Goomba in a deep voice. "I-I was brutally attacked by a vicious rebel, and when I recovered from my great injury, he had already fooled these two USELESS buffoons into giving him the Gem!"

"Vicious rebel?" repeated one of the Goomba soldiers in a high voice. "Gooardy, does he mean that little kid, who took his clothes?"

THWACK! The other had kicked him in the shin for this comment. But the other Goombas had heard them, and they began to laugh uproariously.

"A vicious rebel, eh Goomfrey?" laughed one scornfully. "What's next, being swindled by babies?"

"Now, now, Goomzel," chided another mockingly. "Perhaps it was one of those child prodigy cases. Then again, I doubt it would take a prodigy to outwit Sir Goomfrey." This caused another wave of laughter, and Goomfrey's face turned crimson with embarrassed rage.

"Enough." The voice boomed forth a single word, but at its utterance, everyone fell silent. "Perhaps I am slow…but I fail to see any humor in this situation. The most important artifact in the entire kingdom—the key to finding our rightful power—stolen by unworthy filth. And you all laugh." The voice was eerily calm, but anger seeped through it with such venom that many of the Goombas began shuddering. "Please…enlighten me on what is humorous."

"Your Majesty!"

"Boss!"

All the Goombas turned towards the two voices that suddenly came forth. From dashing footsteps, Goombella surmised them to be newcomers, but the lens would not move any further, and so, she could not see their appearance.

"Goominton…Goopone," the voice boomed. "What is the meaning of this interruption?"

"A thousand pardons, Your Majesty," began the first voice in a polite and refined manner. "We have just received word from our spies in Shellshire—where we had long suspected a Star Gem to be in hiding. It would appear—that someone has taken it."

At this, the Goombas gasped and began talking, shouting questions, but they were instantly silenced by the deep voice's loud "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"

"It is as I have said, Your Majesty," replied the voice, somehow not shaken by the anger in the deep voice. "Moreover, I would be willing to wager that this person or persons is after the other Star Gems as well."

"Who is this person?" demanded the deep voice. "Who dares to defy Goomog?"

"Dat's da ting, boss," said the second voice, in a rough growl. "We ain't sure who da displeasers is. All's we got is their descriptions—dere's two Goombas, both wearin' funny hats, and a Koopa from da place nearby."

"That must be them, Your Majesty!" burst forth Goomfrey suddenly. "The rebel who attacked me and the MONSTROUS brat who DARED to insult my facial hair, and who RUTHLESSLY deceived me!!!"

"I see." At the voice's returning its attention to him, Goomfrey became nervous again. "Then…these terrorists possess the Compass Gem. In other words, your sheer incompetence has brought my goal—the goal of the entire kingdom, the goal to reclaim the Star Stones which are rightfully ours—into jeopardy."

"Y-Your M-Majesty," whimpered Goomfrey. "P-please…give me another chance! Allow me to reclaim the Gem and teach this upstart a lesson!"

There was a pause.

"I shall." Goomfrey looked up in disbelief. "Idiotic as you are, you three are still of use to me. You shall head to the mines and relieve command from Belezagoom. We are certain there is a Star Gem there, which means our enemies are likely to go there as well."

"Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!" shouted Goomfrey joyfully. "You will NOT regret this, Your Majesty!" Turning to the two soldiers, he barked, "Well? You heard him! GET MOVING!!" He charged out the exit, followed by the two, who looked at each other uncertainly.

"And tonight was Goompasta," groaned the higher-voiced one.

"Shut up, Gooaurel," snapped the other one in a whisper. "The sooner we leave, the sooner we get done with this crud."

As the three exited, the voice boomed forth again. "As for the rest of you—as of now, finding the Star Gems takes top priority. Forget any other issues you have—focus all your attention on finding these—these worms, these maggots who dare to stand against us. Find them and crush them for thinking they can defy us. Until they are crushed, and the Star Gems recovered, your petty affairs are inconsequential. So I decree." All the Goombas bowed, their clear displeasure overcome by the fear the voice invoked in them. "Now leave."

In a matter of minutes, the stadium was empty. Goombella thought the owner of the deep voice was gone as well and was about to stop looking, when a sound made her focus her attention again.

"So—the time of the 'hero' has come, has it?" The voice laughed—it sounded a laugh full of dark malice and scorn. "Let him come. Let the foolish Goomba try his might against a God. Let him come—so that I may destroy him."

And all was black.

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"Jeepers."

Goombella tore her eyes from the lens, shaking with a mixture of fear and awe. She turned towards Mario, who looked at her questioningly.

"I'll tell you later," she promised. "Goombario has an E-mailer, right?" Mario nodded. "We've got to tell him—tell him what he's up against."

Mario nodded and took the crystal from the machine, its glimmer gone. The two left and headed back to Goomba Village.

Leaving the source of their unease all alone…

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Remember to Read and Review! Hopefully I'll be able to update more regularly—no promises, though. The next few chapters will be really fun, so look forward to it!


	11. Chapter 1 Interlude Part 2

I'm so SO sorry about the huge delay between the last chapter and this one. I had a lot of school to go through, and I just couldn't find the drive to continue. This time, however, I WILL perform weekly updates until this story is finished.

Enjoy! And look out for the legendary Super Mario Bros. theme in this chapter. One more thing—I accidentally referred the Star Stone of Truth as the blue one, when it's yellow. It's been fixed, but I thought I'd let you know.

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Chapter 1 Interlude Part 2

"Kneel Sir Koopahad."

The triumphant heroes had returned to Koopalot, with Rust and a bound Doormama in tow. Upon seeing the return of his daughter, the King had instantly dropped his stern face and embraced her with tears of joy (much to her embarrassment) Now, the entire village had gathered to see the re-knighting of their hero, the one who had saved them all.

The King took a sword and touched it upon the shell of the kneeling Koopa. "I hereby restore upon you, Sir Koopahad, the title of a Knight, with all honor and privileges therein. Arise, Sir Koopahad." The Knight rose, an expression of joy in his face that Goombario had never before seen.

"HAIL SIR KOOPAHAD!" cheered the Koopas. "LONG LIVE SIR KOOPAHAD!"

The King nodded. "Indeed. I—we are all grateful for what you have done for us."

"YES!" replied the crowd. "WE ARE ALL GRATEFUL!"

Pause.

"I'm not,'" a single Koopa announced.

Everyone stared at him—and then, every Koopa in the crowd burst into laughter. Even the King and Kooplin laughed. Rust, of course, merely rolled her eyes.

"That bit never gets old!" Kooplin chuckled. He then stepped forward importantly. "None of us have any more to fear from Doormama! I have put him to hard work that will keep him busy for many years as punishment for his actions!"

"What's that?" inquired Goombario.

"Sorting my predictions," replied the wizard. "I know all of course, but it doesn't help when all is disorganized—as you, um, witnessed at our first meeting." He coughed in embarrassment and said no more.

The King turned his eyes to Goombario and Goom. "Let us not forget the heroics of the Legendary Hero and his ward." He paused and looked hopefully at the former. "If it would not be asking too much—"

"No—no thank you, Your Majesty," replied Goombario quickly. "No knighting for me, if you don't mind."

"As you wish," the King said with a disappointed look. "For all you have done for us, I wish you would accept more—but if the Star Stone is all you desire, so be it." He stepped forward and bowed, and all the Koopas followed his example, even Rust. "May you be safe in your journey and fulfill your quest, as Lord Goombrian wished."

"Thank you, Your Majesty," said Goombario his cheeks slightly red as he bowed in return. The King turned to Koopahad.

"So—do you still insist on your course of action?"

"I do, My Liege," replied the Koopa. "Were it not for Sir Goombario and Sir Goom, I would still be lost to the past's engulfing darkness. And a Knight's code requires all good deeds to be returned." He slowly walked over to the two Goombas. "I would gladly assist you on your quest, if you will have me."

"You're coming with us?" said Goom, in excitement. "Cool! I can't wait to show you Goomiam! We got stuff that'll BLOW YOUR MIND! We got time machines, space ships, mystical legends…"

"Looks like the decision's been made," chuckled Goombario. "We'd be glad to have you Koopahad. The more the merrier." The Knight bowed in gratitude and turned towards the other Koopas.

"I shall return a stronger Knight and a stronger Koopa, Koopalot. Wait for me, and I shall return!" He rose his lance, and all the other Koopas cheered—except for one, who walked over to him, a bored, apathetic expression on her face.

"So."

Koopahad kneeled. "Wait for me, Lady Koopita. I shall return to you."

"Yeah," replied Rust, her quavering voice betraying her expression. "Sure. Whatever. Not like I care. Just don't get eaten or burned, or whatever out there."

"As you wish, my Lady," said Koopahad still kneeling. "And once I return—if possible—I hope—to—to become more than your Knight. If possible." Rust stared at the kneeling Knight, and, without warning, pulled him up and embraced him, tears streaming down her face. She looked at him and whispered, in a soft, tearful voice, all of her apathy gone:

"Be safe."

Koopahad nodded, and separated from her—and Goombario turned his head away in slight embarrassment at the Knight's misty eyes. When he looked again, however, the Koopa had his regular fierce expression. "Very well then—let us depart!" Goombario nodded, and the three walked out of the village, the cheers of the Koopas still in their ears.

"We'll have some great new jokes for when you come back!"

"Be wary out there! Remember—No one expects the Koopa Inquisition!"

"Meet some people out there, know what I mean? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge."

"Be sure to maintain proper non-silliness in you quest!"

"I'll have spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans and spam ready for you!"

And the voices soon died as they disappeared…

* * *

"That was SUCH a cool adventure," said Goom. An aura of enthusiasm seemed to envelop him as they made their way across Shellshire, easily dispatching the Goomba and Koopa hoodlums. "Do you think ALL the Star Stones are gonna lead us to cool adventures, Goombario?"

Gombario nodded. "From my experience, that's generally how it goes."

"AWESOME!" shouted Goom. "We get to see more places like this? We get to fight more bad guys like that Doormama guy? Man, oh man, I can't wait! I can't—" Goom stopped and turned to look at Goombario, as did Koopahad. A strange sound had suddenly started emanating from him. It was a strange music like sound; the two would later describe it as "Da-da-da da-da-da-da da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da." "What's that?"

Koopahad tensed. "It may be the sound of an evil spirit attempting to posses Sir Goombario!" He held up his lance. "Avert your ears, comrades! The siren's cry will rob us of our will!"

"Hey, hey, calm _down_, Koopahad," said Goombario quickly, pulling out a small rectangle shaped metallic box from his pack—a box that was ringing. "It's just my DSi Mailbox! That ring means that I got an E-mail."

Both of his comrades stared blankly at him.

"An E-mail? You know? Surfing cyberspace? Chating? Watching videos online and commenting?"

"What's 'cyberspace'" Goombario?" inquired Goom. "Is it the level of outer space your world can go to?"

"Is it perhaps related to the mystical 'ca-bal' I have heard of?" asked Koopahad. "Legends speak of Lord Goombrian speaking of a magical device that can communicate pictures and sound."

"…Never mind," replied Goombario, exasperation evident in his voice as he opened the box up. "All you need to know is that this lets me get messages from people. It looks like this is from…Mario?" Excitedly, he took a pen device from the sheath and pointed it at the message. A video screen popped up, but nstead of Mario, Goombario saw an older (though still young) female Goomba with a tie, and a miner's helmet that had a yellow ponytail coming out of it.

"_Um…hello?"_ the Goomba said. "_Man, I'm totally not sure how these things work…anyway, Goombario, you don't know me, but I'm Goombella, and me and Mario have to warn you about something on your quest. We found this ship and somehow looked into this meeting of evil Goomba guys. They're real mad, 'cause I guess you got that Star Stone—anyway you'd better be careful, 'cause that guy in charge is REAL scary. They said something about a Star Stone being in some kind of mine, if that helps—anyway, we'll go back in a bit and see if we can find out more. Good luck Goombario and later!_" She looked over at someone offscreen. "_How'd I do? Anything you want to tell him? I'm not used to this kind of messenging y'know, and I hope I didn't come off as nervous—what's that? It's still recording?_" She jumped. "_Aw geez! Stop and send already!_" The image turned black.

Goom shook his head. "Now I get it. Man I feel sorry for your world—you still have to rely on visual messages. We have the technology to convey thoughts directly to—"

"Could we focus, please?" Goombario interrupted, annoyed. "So—I assume the 'evil Goombas' were the King and his goons, huh? And they mentioned a mine."

"That won't be much help, unfortunately," said Goom. "The King has set up mines all over the world to find the Compass Gem and the Star Stones. We'll have to get back to the Shrine of Goom to find its location."

Goombario nodded. "Then let's get going." The two Goombas walked ahead, but Sir Koopahad hung back a little.

"Odds bodkins," he muttered. "The journey just begins and already I witness a magic box used for communication. I wonder how many more wonders await us?"

* * *

It was a short walk to the teleportation device, (though longer than it could have been due to Koopahad's wondering over the device when it shimmered into existence), and the three soon found themselves teleported over time and space back to the otherworldly kingdom of Goomiam.

"Gadzooks…." whispered Koopahad in astonishment, as he looked around the crystal buildings. "This then, is the place Lord Goombrian hailed from. Such a wondrous land…"

Goom smirked. "I need to show you guys around the place after this whole mess is over. Then you can really gape in wonder."

"All this time…this marvelous land floated above us…" said Koopahad, seemingly deaf to Goom's words. He shook his head. "Well then, Sir Goombario…where is our destination?"

"The Shrine of Goom," replied Goombario. "But to get there, we need to head to the Resistense base."

It was a short walk towards the rundown shack, past the villages where Goombas worked their marvelous machines with the same look of despair and sadness. Koopahad looked around.

"This place," he proclaimed. "I perceive a gloom here greater than that of Koopalot. What awful blight can cause such misery to such a wondrous place?"

"King Goomog," replied Goom. "He's using this entire kingdom to look for the Star Stones. Between all the work they have to do, and the abuse they get from the nobles, this place is in pretty poor shape."

Koopahad clutched his lance. "Sir Goombario, Sir Goom, you have my pledge of loyalty in your quest. Show me the blaggards who plague this land, and I will smite them where they stand."

"We will," promised Goombario. "But first, we need the Star Stones…this is it, right Goom?"

Goom nodded and opened the door to the ramshackle shack. Inside, they had barely entered, when the hatch opened, and Goombetty popped out.

"ATTENTION! Private Goomton SALUTE"

Goom jumped to a salute. "Yes sir!"

"Status report soldier!"

"First Star Stone acquired, sir! No casulties!"

Goombetty turned her sharp eyes towards Koopahad, who shrunk back slightly. "And who is this?"

"Sir Koopahad of Koopalot sir! He has volunteered his assistance sir!"

Goombetty nodded. "At ease sol—" She stopped and looked closer at Goom, noticing the ugly bruise that ran across his face. "What happened to you? Why didn't you mention this?"

"It was…um…well…" Goom blinked uncomfortably. "It's…um…nothing…just…"

"I don't call this nothing soldier!" she barked. Then she turned her eyes on Goombario, who felt his blood run cold. "You! You're supposed to look out for him! What kind of 'hero' are you?"

Goombario would have tried to stutter an exclamation, but Goom suddenly interrupted, in a desperate voice that sounded like he was trying very hard not to cry. "It wasn't his fault Mom—I mean sir! I-I did something stupid, and he—he got hurt—"

"Now, now, let's all calm down," a voice said, coming form the hatch. Soon, out popped the wise hooded head of Goosha. "Everyone's here alive, and we have the first Star Stone—right lad?" Goombario nodded. "Good. Goombetty, set yer maternal rage aside and let's get goin' to the Shrine." She jumped down, and Goombetty followed, but not before sending a vicious glare in Goombario's direction. The poor Goomba gulped in dread.

A short walk through the tunnels found the party in the same hall of doorways. As before, they had to wait for their eyes to adjust to the blinding rainbow of crystals.

"This then, is where we discover the locations of the Star Stones?" inquired Koopahad.

"That's right, lad," confirmed Goosha. "So…which door should we go in?"

Goombario looked at her. "Don't you know?"

She replied with a laugh. "My head's so old, I'm lucky it ain't turned to dust lad! I remembered the first one, sure, but that's it. So about it, hero—feeling lucky?"

Goombario sighed, and looked around the doors—and jumped as the Compass Gem began shining through his pack. Taking it out, he looked at the Gem, which was glowing a deep red.

"Well, well, well," mused Goosha. "Looks like Ma and the others thought ahead. The Red Star Stone—that'd be Knowledge, which is Goomistotle's field. Should be that one, I reckon." She pointed towards the far right door.

Entering the door, the group walked down a pair of winding staircases, which soon led to another door. The room beyond that door had nothing of interest—nothing, except a giant padlock across the door on the other side.

"Blast it," growled Goombetty. "Let's go back, and see if the key's nearby." Going back to the previous room, the party looked around. Nothing but the stairs met their eyes, but after ten minutes of fruitless searching, Goom shouted, "Look! There it is!"

And there it was—on top of a floating brick block at the top of the room.

"Leave this to me," proclaimed Koopahad. A short walk up the stairs and some searching led to a small dead end that was straight across from the block. Goombario swung his Hammmer and the Koopa Knight's shell shattered the block into pieces, and the key fell down to the floor.

"Well done, well done," said Goosha. "Now then, onwards." Unlocking the locked door, the group found themselves in a room similar to the room with Goombrian's statue. The differences were the crystal that the room was made of was a brilliantly dark red, and the statue itself. The Goomba depicted was a Goomba of similar age to Goombrian's, but instead of a beard, he had large white eyebrows that completely covered his eyes. Instead of looking foolish, however, he looked to be in a state of eternal contemplation.

"Now," said Goosha, and Goombario held up the Compass Gem.

And soon felt himself loosing consciousness…

* * *

_It is the kingdom of Goomiam. It looks as it does now—but the Goombas who walk among the streets are happy. No, more than happy, they seem in eternal bliss, as though they hav no sorrows, no fears. Only—peace._

_Without warning, the scene changes to a royal court setting. A large Goomba, middle-aged but strong looking in his majestic rainbow colored robes and shining silver crown, sits on a majestic throne._

"_How go the peace talks, Goriah?" he asks, to an old Goomba in a grey robe with an aged and clever look in his eyes._

"_It is not changing, Your Majesty," he replies. "Some kingdoms are wise enough to regard us as what we are—that we are incapable of evil. Others believe that we will eventually become corrupt and seek control of their domain. Still others, particularly the Koopa Clan, want little more than the excuse to gain our power."_

_The King sighs. "As I feared. You are the wisest member of my council Gooriah. Tell me—in your estimation, how long will it take to devolve to war."_

"_I am but a humble servant, Your Majesty," says Gooriah bowing. "But—were I to guess, I would say a year—perhaps ten months."_

"_Then we must make preparations now," the King announces. "Assemble the finest Sages in our Kingdom and let us convene tomorrow for what we must do."_

"_As you wish."

* * *

_

_The images faded, and Goombario found himself surrounded by pure white. Looking forward, he saw her._

"_P-princess," he stuttered. Goombriel smiled._

"_I'm glad to see you again," she said, and Goombario felt his heart skip a beat. "It's so lonely in this castle." She paused. "I had a strange dream just before you arrived. I saw Goomiam as it was, before we went to the stars—and I saw King Goomzekiel." Goombario's eyes widened._

"_Did—did he have an old Goomba with him? Named, um…"_

"_Gooriah!" finished Goombriel, her eye widening now. "But…how do you…"_

"_I…I just had the same dream," said Goombario. "But…why?"_

"_I…don't know. This…this has never happened before." Neither of them spoke for a few minutes._

"_I see it."_

_Goombario jumped. "Huh?"_

"_The Star Stone of Knowledge," said Goombriel. "It's deep in the mines hidden on Whacka-Whacka Island."_

"_Whacka-Whacka Island, huh?"_

"_Goombario." Once again, he felt a deep sadness pierce his heart. "I have something to ask of you. The mines—they are horrible places, where Goombas are taken to slave until their game ends. Goombario—please, save all the enslaved Goombas. Please."_

_Goombario nodded. "You thought I wouldn't? I'll save them all—I promise._

"_Thank you…thank you…"

* * *

_

Goombario awakened to two concerned faces leaning over him, and a small brown thing on his bed. He smiled weakly. "Hey guys. What's up?"

"Are you well, Sir Goombario?" asked Koopahad. "I had no idea of the wizardry that would befall you. "

"It's fine, it's fine," assured Goombario, panting a little. He looked at the brown thing, which seemed to be a kind of wallet, though it was messily stitched together. "What's this?"

"McGoomley's kid," explained Goom. "She saw you lying there, and left this here. I think she made it herself."

Goombario shrugged and put the wallet in his pack. He raised his head as Goosha entered. "I know where the second Star Stone is. It's in the mines of Whacka Whacka Island."

"Mines?" Goombetty entered in a rush. "A Star Stone is in a mine?" She scowled. "Goombario, those places are dangerous! Many Goombas have ended their games down there! They're covered in traps, and surrounded by Goomba soldiers—it's almost impossible to leave once you've entered."

"You've been in them before?" asked Goombario. She nodded grimly.

"When we just started, we were young and foolish—and when one of our main forces were captured, we followed them to the mines to break them out. That was the first time we entered—and the last."

"I see," Goombario jumped out of bed. "Well, we'd better stock up on items before we go there." Goombetty's eyes widened.

"You can't seriously be thinking—"

"I promised the Princess I'd get the Star Stone—and save all the Goombas in that mine," replied Goombario. "That's just the kind of stuff heroes do."

"Then let us be off!" shouted Koopahad. "No innocents will suffer as long as Sir Koopahad lives!"

Desperately, Goombetty looked towards Goosha. "Say something Goosha!"

The Sage shrugged her shoulders. "Somethin'. Jus' kidding, jus' kidding," she assured Goombetty, who was looking murderous. "If the Star Stone is there, then it's their destiny to reclaim it. Fate ain't gonna be mean enough to kick 'em off just yet."

Goombetty sighed. "Fine. " She turned her gaze on Goombario. "I realize who you are, and what you're meant to do. I will trust you." Her gaze turned fiery. "But if my soldier doesn't come back with you, I'll never forgive you, legendary hero or not."

Goombario nodded. "I understand."

"The transporter to Whacka Whacka Island is in the lower part of the Kingdom," she continued. With one quick longing gaze at Goom, she said, "Off with you."

* * *

It was an unusually silent party that marched towards the teleporter—Goom and Goombario seemed lost in thought and Koopahad, sensing as much, chose not to speak. The three stopped, however, when they caught sight of a bridge.

And standing in front of it was a large, armored Goomba guard.

Koopahad growled. "Out of my way, blaggard, lest I smite you with Nasir!" He was about to charge, when Goombario grabbed him.

"Hey, hey, HEY!" he shouted. "We can't just go around picking fights with these guys! We'll just…have to find another way."

Koopahad scowled. "It would be much quicker to smite this scoundrel and be on our way! And the quicker we are on our way, the quicker we can save those who need our assistance!"

"We won't get to assist ANYONE if this guy calls reinforcements and we get swamped by guards!"

"Neither way work."

Both stopped arguing at that point, and looked, in surprise at the source of the voice.

The Goomba guard.

"Neither way work," he repeated, in a slow voice that sounded as if he was thinking even as he was talking. "Only one way to destination. No other way. If look for other way, waste time." He paused. "Contrarywise, can't fight me, because me no attack you first, and me no part of major story event. Common law of universe. So, only way to destination is get past me."

The three stared at him, unsure of what to say. Goom spoke up first. "So…um, how DO we get past you?"

"You talk to me," the guard replied. "Find out about me, what I like."

Pause.

"…Okay," replied Goombario. "Um…who are you?"

"Me Thud," said the guard quickly, as though he had been waiting for such a chance. "Actually not real name, but masters call me Thud, so me Thud. Masters real jerks—they kick Thud, they insult Thud, and worse, they pay Thud very little. Thud not feel much pain, and can ignore insults, but if Thud going to work in job like that, should at least pay well, right? Me mean, Thud puts in the hours, the work, work nine to five, and Thud not even get minimum wage. It affect family life too—wife love to shop, but no money, no shop. Which means cranky wife, especially when hungry. Wife take out all her stress on Thud, because Thud very gentle man. There was one time where we have dinner with in laws and wife…"

Several hours later…

"…and that is Thud's story." He looked—the Goombas and Koopa had fallen asleep. "AHEM!"

The three instantly woke up and Goombario looked around wildly. "Um…we were listening! Wow, what a problem."

"You no listen. You fall asleep," accused Thud. "That okay. Keep with running gag. Life story have nothing to do with problem anyway." If one could listen closely, one could have heard the collective SNAP of the three heroes' patience.

"SO WHAT DO YOU WANT?" they shouted as one.

Unfazed, Thud replied, "Thud want wallet. Just got lots of money in lottery, but no place to put it. You give Thud wallet, Thud let you pass."

Pause.

Goombario took out the poorly stitched wallet. "Um…would this do?"

Thud took the work and looked closely at it. "Huh. Not very good wallet. Not good craftsmanship. Might tear. Oh well, when life give you Lemons, make Lemon Candy." He moved aside. "You pass."

Each of them thanking the stars that THAT was over, the three walked past the guard and into the teleporter.

To their next journey…

* * *

And that's it! The last part of the story is a little weird and awkward admittedly, but I decided that the story needed some humor after all that heaviness.

Tell me what you think in your reviews!


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